I Got Flowers!

I am overjoyed.

No, nobody gave me flowers. I would be too busy dying of a heart attack if that happened, to post a blog.

I have flowers in my garden. Flowers that I planted myself.

FOR REAL, TRUE BLUE, FAIR DINKUM…

flowers.

I know it’s not quite normal to get excited over a few flowers. The world is full of flowers, after all… but if you had my appalling track record when it comes to having a level of responsibility high enough to keep a plant alive, you too would be excited. I could murder a plant at 20 paces just by looking at it. I’ve even killed a freaking cactus.

Strangely enough, I’ve never had the same problem with weeds…

I’m dead impressed that most of my bulbs have come up. Half the tulips are yet to be seen, but the jonquils are flowering already and the hyacinth’s are bursting forth.

Oh, check out the carrots. Remember the first one I pulled? You can just see that they’re ALL going to look like that. Poor little carrots.

Did you like my little slideshow? Apologies if the spinning photo’s made you dizzy, but they remind me of that spinning segue effect in the original Batman and I couldn’t resist. You gotta love the original Batman. Here’s the trailer for the 1966 movie. If you’ve never seen it, it’s a must. Hilarious.

Watch out for the Exploding Man Eating Shark. Holy sardine!!

Fantastic.

 

 

So.

 

I have now given birth to vegetables, flowers and cats.

 

Next stop……….children!

 

Eh, maybe not.

 

I don’t think anyone who includes Batman and carrots in the same blog, is qualified to be a parent.

 

 

 

Song of the Day – The Captain Matchbox Whoopie Band – If Youse A Viper

The Neverending Lunch

 

 

I am a very, very big fan of long, boozy lunches. There is not much I enjoy more than to while away a sunny afternoon, enjoying great conversation, scrumptious food and a bottle of wine (or two).

I got lucky last weekend.

 

As is my wont, we were running late. Did I ever tell you I have an allergy to deadlines? Now you know.

I do however, multitask fairly well. This is me giving directions, fiddling with the radio and taking a photograph of myself at the same time. Just as well I wasn’t driving.

 

Where were we going? Oh, yay! Wine tasting! A nice little boutique winery in the Swan Valley called Carilley Estate. Because we didn’t get there until after 2pm and the kitchen closed at 3, we only tasted the whites. I wasn’t overly impressed. My palette is extremely tired of this trend towards sweet, heavily fruit driven wines. They just don’t agree with me. Gimme oak, baby…

We ended up choosing a Dry Chenin Blanc. I’ve never heard of a Dry Chenin Blanc before, but it was a whole lot more palettable to me than a normal Chenin Blanc, and I wasn’t really fussed that it didn’t go with steak. A red would have been far too heavy for lunch. I was up for some serious quaffing…

 

The steak was out of this world. I swear it was the best steak I’ve ever eaten. It was huge, and cooked medium rare, to perfection. Melt. In. Your. Mouth.

Yum.

 

Then there was the view…

 

A couple of glasses of wine, and Vanessa starts pointing the camera at herself again….

 

A few more glasses of wine and she’s pointing the lens at sheep.

Because she is convinced that sheep in the Swan Valley are way prettier than any other sheep.

Or something like that.

 

Of course, on the way home there just HAD to be a stop at the pub…

 

And a uh, few of these….

 

Then, upon arriving home at around 11pm, Vanessa changes into her daggy fleecy tracksuit and takes yet more photos of herself wearing 3 layers of clothing. She is under the blurry misconception that her hair looks like it did when she left the house 10 hours previously and that she doesn’t look at all tired and emotional. Not at all. HOT, baby, hot.

If you look closely enough, you can see the outline of her beer goggles…

 

Geez, I’m a brave girl, posting that. Hah!

 

 

 

Song Of The Day – Deerhoof – Wrong Time Capsule

My First Carrot

 

 

 

It’s a baby carrot. Shh.

 

Negative comments could damage his psyche.

 

 

P.S..Babies are cute and they taste good.

 

 

 

Song Of The Day – David Bowie – Look Back In Anger

Lunch With A Lama

I had lunch with the Dalai Lama today.

Well, me and around 500 other people, but who’s quibbling?

His Holiness was in Perth today, passing on his words of wisdom to thousands of followers. There were two free events and a Buisness Leader’s Luncheon. I was at the Luncheon, corporate high-flyer that I am (not).

Tickets were $750 per head.

[pause]

I did not pay $750 for my ticket. My mother is a fan, and she wanted someone to go with. Who was I to say no?

So, as is the wont of my irrepressible, rebellious spirit, I descended upon the venue, loaded with contraband. Ok, not exactly loaded, but “No Cameras Allowed” was not going to stop me trying to get a snap or two. What would be the point of going to such an event if I couldn’t post a photo blog? Hah! I also smuggled in my latest gadget (I’m a bit of a gadget fiend), my Digital Voice Recorder. I’m not sure if that was on the banned-items list or not; I didn’t stop to check…

We were seated at a table (at the back of the room, bugger it), with eight strangers. It was a bit like being on the single’s table at a wedding. Slightly awkward, with some stilted conversation and everyone checking everyone else out. Speaking of checking people out, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many handsome men in suits all in the one place. Humm…

Oh, what were we there for? Ah, yes. Spiritual matters. Right. Moving right along…

There was grass on our table. It wasn’t even in a container. I wanted to eat it.

I couldn’t resist posting a picture of my new toy, and yes I did record his entire message. Oh, and the placemat. I dug the placemat. The whole event was organised by the Australia-Israel Chamber of Commerce. I’m stilll looking for the connection…

Eating chicken off the Dalai Lama’s face. Brilliant. I thought it was interesting that there was no sign of vegetarian cuisine on the menu. There was only one main course to choose from, and that was chicken. It was pretty good, except half of the room didn’t get to finish their meals because His Holiness arrived on the premises and from that moment it was knives and forks down. If that money hadn’t been going to a good cause, I’d have been pretty cheesed off…

The Lama (I can’t help calling him that…) sat, and talked. And talked. And talked. For over 80 minutes without a break. I feel like I should be ashamed to tell you I fell asleep, but I did nod off. More than once. That was in between looking at his face on the giant screens and feeling an almost uncontrollable urge to run up to one of them and draw a huge pair of pointy ears on him. The man could actually be Yoda. I kid you not.

Do I sound awfully disrespectful? Probably, but it’s not intentional. I have an enormous respect for the man. I am quite in awe of his life story. He is a wonderful ambassador for peace and has inspired millions to lead a more spiritual life. I just found what he was saying to be so very familiar and extremely simplistic. None of it was anything that Jesus didn’t say in the Gospels, but I had to remind myself that he was preaching to a spiritually challenged audience to which these concepts of “kindness”, “compassion” and “forgiveness” meant something different… I thought it was very interesting that in the “question and answer” session after his talk, a man stood up and asked how to ingraine these qualities in himself, because he understood the concepts, but was finding it difficult to keep up the momentum, so to speak. The Dalai Lama didn’t really have a coherent answer.

It’s at this point that I should shut up, because I don’t want to turn this into an “anti” or “pro” any religion rant and I don’t want to offend anyone. It’s also possible it’s too late for that, heh. I’m not anti-Buddhism in any way, I just found his speech, loaded with platitudes and lacking in substance. [shrug]. Although, I do think it’s great that these “Business Leaders” were being addressed, because if anyone needs that kind of message, no matter how simplistic, it is people in charge of other people…

Next! More photos….

There were thankyou’s and blessings and people were getting teary on stage…

Stupid slow shutter speed…

This is His Holiness on his way out, on his way to his next engagement. The hush in the room as he left was such that you could have heard a pin drop. After I took this photo, he passed so close to my table, I could have reached out and touched him. Sweet little Yoda man.

Then it was time for dessert. Yay for chocolate palm trees and pineapple pudding!

Despite any misgivings I’ve given voice to, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’m hugely thankful it came my way. Namaste.

Song Of The Day – Queens Of The Stoneage – Go With The Flow

I don’t shop for clothes…

It was my birthday in February.

I know, you most likely missed it.

Don’t worry, there’s always next year….

Every year on my birthday, I am given a sizeable shopping voucher for my favourite shop in Perth, 78 Records.

78’s is brilliant. My cup of tea, entirely. It’s a huge place, for Perth. Two stories full of CD’s, DVD’s, books and all kinds of other paraphenalia, all waay left of centre.

When I was neck-high in the music industry, this was the coolest place to take bands for an instore appearance. I had a fine old time babysitting Weezer for a couple of days, and that equated to 78’s most successful instore appearance to date. 700+ people spilling out the door. It was a crazy day. They played an acoustic set. If I could be bothered uploading photos, I would….

Yay!

(it’s very nice to get gushing, congratulatory notes from head office…)

I become very, very excited at the prospect of going to 78’s and having money to spend…

 

Doesn’t look like much, I know. This is only a corner. I was a bit iffy about getting told off for taking pictures…

 

After shopping, it was time for some lunch…. (who thinks they’ll mind me giving them a plug? heh)

 

…and a beer… or several. Little Creatures make some of the best beers on the planet. They’re based here and I know people in other parts of the world, who are so very knowledgable about beer, and they will agree….

 

And, it’s on to the purchases. [blissful sigh]

 

I couldn’t believe my luck finding this. Love are one of my favourite bands of all time. They were around in the 60’s and are completely and totally underrated. Oh, Arthur Lee, for you are my hero….

 

He died late last year. It was a sad day.

 

Ol’ Hunter is a jolly good writer and I love me some boozy adventures….

 

Hehe. I also have a thing for B Z-grade schlock horror…..

 

Speaking of which….. A Russ Meyer favourite. Nude ladies, crazy psychedelia and murder. What more can you ask for?

 

(Not to be confused with Jacqueline Sussan’s ‘Valley of the Dolls’, parody aside…)

 

Brilliant film. It’s what I imagine life to be like on a submarine in wartime, and is highly regarded in terms of realism. Tommy, care to comment?

 

I haven’t seen this for nearly 20 years. For someone like me, who feels very at home blissing out in a mid-late ’60’s kind of way, it’s essential. Born at the wrong time…

 

I’ve never heard of this film. It’s Australian. It just tickled my fancy so much that I bought it simply by viewing the cover art. I’m thinking, poor man’s ‘Tommy’, minus the music… or maybe with some. It has impressive musical credentials, if you’re Australian. I haven’t watched it yet. It’s probably unwatchable, but I’m a curious cat…..

 

Silverchair are mostly regarded overseas as a teenage grunge band from Oz, made good. That was 15 years ago. They grew up. They started working with Van Dyke Parks (think, good Beach Boys) on their last album, Diorama. Stuff happened. It was good. Very good. Daniel Johns is a fucking genius. He grew up in a way nobody would have expected. I could go on about where that came from, but I’d bore you. What I will say is, there was a lot of physical pain associated with that, and all that goes with it. This is their new album.

 

I was sitting on a balcony. The day looked like this down below :

 

 

… and there was good food to be eaten. So very good…

 

 

 

Then there was more beer…. (and wine)

 

 

 

 

After that, things looked a little wobbly….

 

 

 

 

… but I managed to take a dodgy photo of myself in the lav…

 

 

 

[Photo of self removed due to overwhelming feelings of utter self disgust]

 

 

Ok, that’s it. The ending has changed now since I removed that photo and I have an horrendous hangover.

 

Ow.

 

 

Song Of The Day – Magic Dirt – Pace it

 

PS I’m tired of battling with the spacing on posts. If anyone wants to give me a tutorial, I’m up for it, but other than that…. deal with it. As I know you willl…

 

 

It’s true what they say about gardening…

I used to really hate gardening. I could kill a plant at 20 paces, just by looking at it. I used to joke that I had a brown thumb. It all just seemed like an enormous chore to me.

Then, at the beginning of this year, I went through a strange and rather complicated metamorphosis*, which saw me turn into SUPER NAKED GARDENER.  I had a sudden urge to take my clothes off in the garden and plant things, often.  Fortunately, I got really lucky with the costume. Gardening is a dirty business and a cape would just get in the way.  

I’d heard people talk in whimsical and reverent tones about the wonders of working with the earth for most of my life, but my utter self absorption and short attention span never allowed me to truly discover the deep satisfaction that is to be had by sinking your hands into the dirt and nurturing a plant into bloom.

It’s true what they say. Gardening is a form of meditation. There is nothing else (with the possible exception of having an orgasm, oh and skinnydippng), that clears my mind in the same way, or takes me to such a simple place of pleasure and sheer enjoyment of life.

Ok, the pleasure principle is somewhat different between gardening and sex, but you get my drift, right?

I love planting. That’s my favourite part. I love mixing the different soils and mulch. I love digging my bare hands into the soil and letting the dirt fall through my fingers. I love popping the seedling out of the container to admire and gently free its delicate root structure. I love digging a little hole and placing the seedling, just so. I love giving them water and verbal encouragement daily. It matters not to me that they don’t have ears. They respond to my care.

These flowers are blossoming in my garden right now. I can’t take credit for them, for the plants were here when I moved in — but if you click on them you’ll see they are very pretty, indeed.

I have discovered my true love is growing edible plants. Flowers are nice, but there is nothing like eating food you have grown with your own loving care. This is a photo I took of some baby carrots I planted on 1 April.

And this is how they look today, 12 days later. The rapid growth is almost like instant gratification, with a lesson on patience thrown in for good measure. I can’t wait to see what’s below the surface!

I adore rocket. I could just munch on rocket leaves all day. This is my rocket 12 days ago…

And here it is today. Growing like a rocket, no less! Yummm….! I’m having salad tonight….

I’m so excited to taste these cherry tomatoes, I can barely stand it…. but they’re taking so long to turn red! I mean…. HOW MUCH LONGER?? There are around 20-30 of them in that pot and I’m loving that specific, pungent aroma of the tomato plant. It takes me back to my grandparent’s vegetable patch from childhood…

Jalapeno’s anyone? I love chillies, but I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this many of them. There are about 10 on that one plant right now and more popping up every day. I guess I can always freeze or dry them… Don’t you love that green?

This little fella makes me smile. Look at the way he’s climbing up the trellis all by himself. I thought I was going to have to tie him up, but it turns out he’s a very independent and capable little snow pea plant! If you look closely you can see 3 snow peas of varying sizes…

I’m also growing a lot of other things, like various herbs, red onions, and a lemon tree in a pot amongst other things — but we’d be here forever if I showed you them all. These are my star performers.

So, it seems I may have a green thumb, after all.  Who knew?  I think I was always going to have to be in a still and quiet place of personal transformation for the growth of a plant to become something I appreciate deeply.  It’s quite symbolic.

I also love that when it’s warm, I can just turn around and dive in the pool to get clean.

It’s the simple things…

Now, I have a question for you:

I recently got hold of these rusty old buckets and I want to plant bulbs in them next week (jonquils, tulips and hyacinths). I’m really new at growing things and I don’t want to take any chances in terms of poisoning them, so I’m not keen on putting the soil directly in contact with the rust. Does anyone know of any product or method to coat the inside of the buckets to form a barrier between the metal and the soil? I’m thinking I might just have to line them with plastic….

I’d appreciate any ideas…

* My amazing metamorphosis may or may not be discussed at a later date. I’m a bit over talking about it for now.

Song Of The Day – Donovan – There Is A Mountain