Yacht Rock #2

I’m a little quiet on the posting front this week, due to being somewhat under the weather.

This, like all things, shall pass.

A bit of a shame, really. I was quite looking forward to attending the ANZAC Day Dawn Service this morning, but somehow I think getting up at 3.30am to stand around in the cold with 30,000 strangers in my current condition would have been counterproductive.

So, without further ado, fellow cheesemeisters, it’s time for Yacht Rock – Episode Two.

In which our friends Michael McDonald and Kenny Loggins are challenged to a songwriting duel by Hall and Oates. Who will take the (non-existant) prize? And why does Christopher Cross have a piece of wire hanging from his face?

There is also a death in the Yacht Rock family. Quite the tragedy.

(Can anyone shed any light on how Oates pulls off such an impressive imitation of a kookaburra? It has to be accidental…)

Yacht Rock – Episode One

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time for a Bex and a good lie down.


Coming in Episode Three: Will Kenny Loggins leave behind his smooth roots for a world of hard beats and primal screams? Steve Perry wants to make sure of it…


Song Of The Day – Joy Division – She’s Lost Control


Yacht Rock to the rescue

(previous text deleted due to reasonable fear)


I know a little something that might cheer me up.

Yacht Rock.

Yes! That’s the answer!

Never heard of Yacht Rock? It’s an internet tv show and a fictional satire about the lives and times of the big players in soft rock from the late ’70’s and early ’80’s. Think, The Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan, The Eagles, Kenny Loggins, Christopher Cross, Toto etc.

Yacht Rock makes me laugh in watery ways, although I seem to laugh at different things than most of the people who commented on YouTube – go figure. It’s ridiculously stupid and deceptively clever, riddled with more pop references than you can shake a stick at, and shot like a really cheap porno minus the sex.

Thre are 10, 5 minute episodes and I’m thinking I might post them all here as a series in weekly installments.

In Episode One, we learn the origin of the mother of all Yacht Rock songs. I will never hear What A Fool Believes in quite the same way again, heh…


Viva le Yacht Rock!

Ah, I feel better already.

Coming in Episode Two: Hall and Oates challenge Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald to a songwriting duel.

Vinyl Beauties – Part 1

I have an enormous collection of vinyl records.  I mean, too bloody big.  Around 900+ albums and God knows how many singles (45’s).  Could be around the same number.  I can’t play any of them because both my turntables are out of order, but I just can’t let go.  I’ve given away a few albums over the years and regretted it.  Still.  So, I lug them around from house to house…

I’ve been collecting records since I was a kid.  Pre-teen.  I was earning my own money from the age of 9, and what did I spend it on?  Yup.  You got it.

I was obsessed with music.  Not much has changed in that regard, except that I’m running out of space.   Records take up a LOT of space.  

I worked for a huge record company for a couple of years and had access to their entire back catalogue.  Holy Jeebus.  I went nuts.  They probably got the bill after I left, heh.   My CD collection is almost as large as my vinyl, or possibly larger.  I’ve never counted.

Part of the reason I hang onto records, is because I love the big covers.  There was nothing quite like lying on your bed, listening to your new purchase and examining the artwork and words in fine detail.  Ahhh… memories.  CD’s just aren’t the same…

Occasionally I still buy vinyl secondhand, if I see a cover I really like.  Covers were and are, that cool…

For some time now, I’ve been collecting pictures of joyous vinyl album covers I’ve come across online.  There are too many to post in one hit, so I’m starting a series:


I hate to say it, but she reminds me of me when I’ve had a few too many to drink.  Well, I don’t generally try to set my face on fire and I only smoke when I’m very sloshed, but she speaks to me.  Hah!  Almost makes you want to hear ‘Bolero’ again, eh?


Doesn’t everybody love Herb?  This album cover has been parodied numerous times, I believe most famously by Soul Asylum. They had the best covers in the 60’s….


Well, isn’t Eddie a lucky guy?  Who would think there would be naked, piano crawling beauties at the Open Face Sandwich Club? 


Someone I know saw this recently and said at first glance, “That’s hot!!”.  Umm.. ok.  Apparently women on the toilet turn him on…  Hey, what ever floats yer boat, I say.  I think Millie Jackson (is she related??)  is just feeling wholly satisfied for being back where the shit is.  By the look on her face, she’s been waiting a long time. 


Well, what can you say except, WHAT THE FUCK??  At least he gives a warning for sensitive eyes, but not before you’ve seen the rest.  Not that I’m offended. I’m just trying to work out what the hell is going on here… Is there a point?

I’m sure someone has an explanation.  If not feasible, at least amusing…

I’ll just leave you with those for now.  Vinyl albums that most likely will never be released on CD and if they were available digitally, what would be the point?

Vinyl rules, ok.

More to come…..


Song Of The Day – James Brown – King Heroin

It’s true what they say about gardening…

I used to really hate gardening. I could kill a plant at 20 paces, just by looking at it. I used to joke that I had a brown thumb. It all just seemed like an enormous chore to me.

Then, at the beginning of this year, I went through a strange and rather complicated metamorphosis*, which saw me turn into SUPER NAKED GARDENER.  I had a sudden urge to take my clothes off in the garden and plant things, often.  Fortunately, I got really lucky with the costume. Gardening is a dirty business and a cape would just get in the way.  

I’d heard people talk in whimsical and reverent tones about the wonders of working with the earth for most of my life, but my utter self absorption and short attention span never allowed me to truly discover the deep satisfaction that is to be had by sinking your hands into the dirt and nurturing a plant into bloom.

It’s true what they say. Gardening is a form of meditation. There is nothing else (with the possible exception of having an orgasm, oh and skinnydippng), that clears my mind in the same way, or takes me to such a simple place of pleasure and sheer enjoyment of life.

Ok, the pleasure principle is somewhat different between gardening and sex, but you get my drift, right?

I love planting. That’s my favourite part. I love mixing the different soils and mulch. I love digging my bare hands into the soil and letting the dirt fall through my fingers. I love popping the seedling out of the container to admire and gently free its delicate root structure. I love digging a little hole and placing the seedling, just so. I love giving them water and verbal encouragement daily. It matters not to me that they don’t have ears. They respond to my care.

Apricot RoseApricot Rose 2Azaleas

These flowers are blossoming in my garden right now. I can’t take credit for them, for the plants were here when I moved in — but if you click on them you’ll see they are very pretty, indeed.


I have discovered my true love is growing edible plants. Flowers are nice, but there is nothing like eating food you have grown with your own loving care. This is a photo I took of some baby carrots I planted on 1 April.


And this is how they look today, 12 days later. The rapid growth is almost like instant gratification, with a lesson on patience thrown in for good measure. I can’t wait to see what’s below the surface!


I adore rocket. I could just munch on rocket leaves all day. This is my rocket 12 days ago…


And here it is today. Growing like a rocket, no less! Yummm….! I’m having salad tonight….


I’m so excited to taste these cherry tomatoes, I can barely stand it…. but they’re taking so long to turn red! I mean…. HOW MUCH LONGER?? There are around 20-30 of them in that pot and I’m loving that specific, pungent aroma of the tomato plant. It takes me back to my grandparent’s vegetable patch from childhood…


Jalapeno’s anyone? I love chillies, but I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this many of them. There are about 10 on that one plant right now and more popping up every day. I guess I can always freeze or dry them… Don’t you love that green?


This little fella makes me smile. Look at the way he’s climbing up the trellis all by himself. I thought I was going to have to tie him up, but it turns out he’s a very independent and capable little snow pea plant! If you look closely you can see 3 snow peas of varying sizes…

I’m also growing a lot of other things, like various herbs, red onions, and a lemon tree in a pot amongst other things — but we’d be here forever if I showed you them all. These are my star performers.

So, it seems I may have a green thumb, after all.  Who knew?  I think I was always going to have to be in a still and quiet place of personal transformation for the growth of a plant to become something I appreciate deeply.  It’s quite symbolic.

I also love that when it’s warm, I can just turn around and dive in the pool to get clean.

It’s the simple things…

Now, I have a question for you:


I recently got hold of these rusty old buckets and I want to plant bulbs in them next week (jonquils, tulips and hyacinths). I’m really new at growing things and I don’t want to take any chances in terms of poisoning them, so I’m not keen on putting the soil directly in contact with the rust. Does anyone know of any product or method to coat the inside of the buckets to form a barrier between the metal and the soil? I’m thinking I might just have to line them with plastic….

I’d appreciate any ideas…

* My amazing metamorphosis may or may not be discussed at a later date. I’m a bit over talking about it for now.

Song Of The Day – Donovan – There Is A Mountain

You like what??

Hello.  My name is Vanessa, and I am slightly unusual.

Well, maybe a little more than slightly…

I happily sit outside the circle, to the left.  It’s where I’ve always lived.  It’s nice.  They know me here.

I’m not crazy.  I just like different things to ‘most people’.

I like Test Patterns.


I really do.

I even have a favourite Test Pattern.

Check it out:


When I was a kid I would always wake up too early for TV and this is what I saw when I turned on the box.  Can you see why I was fascinated?  A spooky looking little girl who always looked to me like her head was about to begin turning 360’s, and as for that clown thing….  I’m not generally afraid of clowns, I just think they’re stupid.  But that weirdo clown paired with the girl like they’re ACTUALLY PLAYING NOUGHTS AND CROSSES, that creeped me the fuck out, like it’s alive or something.   And, what is with that clown’s body?? 

Useless trivia:   This Test Pattern has a name.  It’s ‘Test Card F’, and it’s a creation of the BBC in the UK.  They’re playing noughts and crosses so the TV cameras could have something to focus on in the centre of the picture.  Hence, the placement of the ‘X’. 

Then there’s this one:


Familiar to viewers of televisual pictures in 30 different countries.  Not seen quite so often these days, due to most TV stations broadcasting 24 hours.   I like the geometric shapes and vague optical illusions.  I like the colours and shades.  It makes me feel warm and fuzzy, like my favourite teddy bear.  No, I’m not kidding.

So, imagine my joy at finding this for sale online:


Orrrrhhh!   Test Pattern Watch!!

I’m tempted…. Oh, so tempted….

Song Of The Day:   Sigur Ros – Glosoli

The Little Birdy That Could

One thing I seem to do on a fairly regular basis is rescue animals.  Maybe it’s my calling and I’ve been missing it all this time; who could know?  I volunteer for a cat shelter, who send me out to pick up strays and abandoned kittens, and I quite often rescue small mammals and birds from the jaws of death on my own property.   Although the resident poosycats, Bilbo and Spiffy, would prefer to be referred to as ‘Wildlife Control Officers’, don’t listen to them.  They’re renowned for putting a positive spin on every evil deed….

One night recently, I witnessed Spiffy whizz by the loungeroom window, and in the brief streak of light I saw he had something in his mouth.  The constant jingling of the bell on his collar was also a dead giveaway.  He likes to play ‘Toss’ with his prey.   He thinks it’s fabulous fun.  Me?  Not so much…

I sprinted outside, grabbed Spiffy by the scruff of the neck, growled and shook him until he let go of what I thought was a mouse, but instead I found this little guy:

Little Birdy

Cute, huh?  Talkative, too.  In fact, so talkative that I had to put him outside in the garage for the night, because he wouldn’t shut the feck up. 

Next day, I took him here:


Just up the road and luckily a vet that specialises in native wildlife… 

So, despite being mauled by what must have looked to him like a gigantic, fanged monster from hell, it looked like he was going to live to tell the tale, although it was unlikely he would see his family again….

After that, I was feeling pretty good about my place in the world,  so I thought I’d take a drive down the coast:


… which was rather nice, but really, driving and taking photographs at the same time is not something you should try at home, mmkay kids?

I did stop for the sunset:


… which was quite lovely.   By that time I was feeling extremely Zen and well connected to nature, so just before the sun went down, I stopped at the National Park up the road from my house in the hope of seeing some of these little fellas:


Kangaroos make me very, very happy.  There are more of them than you can see, they’re just too far away to pick up at dusk with a camera.   I visit them quite regularly.  They’re my furry little friends.  Actually, they’re not that little; I know who would come off second best in a fight…

It was a good day…

I just hope I don’t have to see another potential kill in the forseeable future.  Because really,  I’d rather not have to rescue anything…

Song of the day: Jarvis Cocker – (Cunts Are Still) Running The World