Vinyl Beauties 3


It’s the next installment of “Vinyl Beauties”.

Cheesy records make me happy. So very happy…

Vinyl Beauties 1
Vinyl Beauties 2

I have so many of these glorious album covers, I’m spoilt for choice. I also have no idea where each and every one of these was pinched from, but I figure it’s not from their original source, so it doesn’t really matter…

Let’s just get started, eh?


What episode of Vinyl Beauties would be complete without some gratuitous nudity? Although I have to say, that the title paired with the image does my head in a bit. I’m not sure I even want to go there…

What I do like is some of the song titles – which do make me suspect that this record was not made in all seriousness….

“Sadie’s Still Got The Rag On”, “He Forgot His Rubbers”, “Tony’s Got Hot Nuts”… and then there’s always “Things Are Soft For Grandma Since Grandpa’s Eighty-Four”

I think that young lady was a bit warm under the lights. What do you think?



Someone’s mother is handy with a crochet hook…

Strangely enough, the outfit on the guy in purple would look quite fashionable right now…. on a woman. I’m somewhat impressed with the crocheted cowboy hat, although that guy is looking like he wouldn’t be out of place on a website for foot fetishists.

Do you think they could have put the palm in a more attractive container? Or at least placed it so the ugly plastic pot wasn’t in shot. Maybe they were in a hurry because the funeral home was about to close…



Hmm. Where to start with this one? Who is Bob McFadden and who is “Dor”? Is it his sister? Are they in the photo? Who are those people?

Is their “Mummy” a fertile, petrified, musical superhero?

We can only speculate…



Heh, well I have no problem with the proclamation that Jesus is a “Soul Man”, but I reckon this lot are in need of some divine guidance to make them appear even vaguely soulful…

Note to Naomi: A-line skirts and horizontal stripes around the hip of a full figured woman are not flattering…

Are we seriously supposed to believe these men are brothers?



Looks like poor Effie is has hit the skids. Either that, or she’s/he’s impersonating me at around the 3rd bottle of champagne mark. A bottle and head in hand is never a good combination…

Hmm. Should I be worried?

So, how is it, Effie? Tell it like it is….

I’d say her feet are hurting. Check out the size of her shoes…


So there you have it for another edition of “Vinyl Beauties”.


I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Feel free to throw in your own interpretations….





Song Of The Day – Turin Brakes – Slack





  1. sumbum said,

    June 8, 2007 at 7:50 pm

    HA! Where do you find these little gems?

    Is it just me or does the first girl look a little like Britney Spears in the face?

    also, I love the guy with the purple crochet skull cap. A guy showed up to a tranny party at my house wearing an ensemble pretty close to that.

  2. Vanessa said,

    June 8, 2007 at 7:58 pm

    See? I told you it was a girly outfit…. Far more so than the others… Mind you, the foot/cowboy guy could give him a run for his money if he stood up.

    As for Britney, I don’t think her eyes are downward-slanty enough. I can’t pick anyone she looks like. The more I look at her, the more I think she’s at a family do and the photographer has got hold of those elusive x-ray specs that were always advertised on the back of Archie comics…..

  3. brian said,

    June 8, 2007 at 8:46 pm

    whoa, no wonder people come here looking for tits. there they are!

    and i love the name “effie dropbottom”

  4. Vanessa said,

    June 8, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    I’m just trying to keep up appearances, you understand…

    At least they’re not mine…?

    As for Effie… not much surprises me in terms of drag queen names, but I am still worried about her shoes…..

  5. Rodney Olsen said,

    June 8, 2007 at 11:23 pm

    My greatest fear is that one day I’m going to recognise one of the old albums in my collection among a similar post. 🙂

  6. Vanessa said,

    June 8, 2007 at 11:30 pm

    Don’t be afraid. Let your dodgy record collection run free!

    (Andrew says: Good morning from Perth’s Best Music)

  7. Tommy said,

    June 9, 2007 at 12:38 am

    That Jesus band looks kinda scary. Like cult-ish scary. Kinda freaking me out actually. The funny thing is that’s the only cover I thinks is really weird.

  8. Vanessa said,

    June 9, 2007 at 12:46 am

    They do look rather earnest. I have a truckload of dodgy Christian albums that look almost exactly like this. I thought I ought to start using them up, or I’m going to end up at the end of my cheesy vinyl journey with a bunch of them…

    No mention of boobs? Gosh, what happened to you in Chicago…?

  9. rannaland said,

    June 9, 2007 at 1:13 am

    HOLY COW!!! Did Tommy actually come by and make no booby comments? OMG!! I guess that Jesus Band freaked him out more than he let on. HEHEHEHEHE!! Ok sorry Tommy couldn’t resist.

    Ahh Vanessa, I just love it when you post your out of the ordinary record collection posts on here. I get so tickled at some of these covers. Like that one of Effie Dropbottom. HAHAHAHA!! Is it just me or does Effie have this look on her face that just screams ” I told it like it was, Now can I get some more booze?” LOL!!
    Spankin Post Love!! HUGS TO YOU!

  10. Vanessa said,

    June 9, 2007 at 1:19 am

    You know what? I was just sitting here clicking around and saw your reply mentioning Effie Dropbottom. That inspired to to scroll up to look at his/her face again. It was then I realised I was looking in the mirror…

    Think I’ll be off to bed………

  11. Tommy said,

    June 9, 2007 at 1:26 am

    Nothing happened in Chicago, I’m just that freaked out.

  12. Vanessa said,

    June 9, 2007 at 1:30 am

    Nah, something is up.

    If only they weren’t all leaning forward like they are…

  13. Tommy said,

    June 9, 2007 at 1:43 am

    Seriously, nothing is up. I’m still just as obsessed as always. It’s just that, they look like they would all travel in the same van with a camper top on it, trying to spread the word whether you want to hear it or not. That’s just plain creepy.

  14. Vanessa said,

    June 9, 2007 at 1:47 am

    Yah, it’s creepy. Call me desensitised. I have a zillion of those covers, and some including campervans. Be prepared….

    I do however, take them on individual merit…. and that one spoke to me in a special way tonight.

    And that had nothing to do with the Dalai Lama.

    Oh, yeah. You’ve been away. Nevermind…

  15. Jules said,

    June 9, 2007 at 6:39 am

    “My Pussy Belongs To Daddy.” Not even going to touch on that, besides to say that it reminds me of those book covers we were looking at the other week. *shudder*

    “The Rock Goes On.” 70’s crochet madness. There are still some remnants of the craze at my mother in law’s house, in the form of cheap Barbie like dolls wearing crocheted dresses which are used as toilet roll covers.

    “Songs Our Mummy Taught Us.” Judging by Mummy’s body language I wouldn’t want to know what happens if you don’t feel like singing….

    “Jesus Is A Soul Man.” I agree with Tommy, those people are seriously creepy. The one just to the right of Naomi looks suspiciously like my brother in law. Nothing would surprise me.

    “Effie Dropbottom.” Oh, I have been there many a time. After a few drinks I tend to tell it like it is too, which is not always the best course of action, as poor Effie seems to have realised too. Those feet will be killing her in the morning…

    Great post 😀 In your honour I went out and bought a couple of dodgy old records today. Yay!

  16. Vanessa said,

    June 9, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Oh, the books! Bloody ‘ell… I wonder if she knew what the picture was being taken for?

    Crocheted oilet roll covers! Fantastic. They have a name… Is it a toilet dolly? No… something like that though…. The height of kitsch. Along with macrame owls.

    Hahaha at Effie. Man. I swear at around oh, I don’t even want to say what time this morning, I was Effie’s long lost twin…. and funnily enough, I was tellin’ it like it is. I am now feeling quite sorry for myself…

    Cheers love… Now, I command you take photos of said records and post them in your blog, poste haste! 😀

  17. gullybogan said,

    June 10, 2007 at 11:58 am

    i hit wikipedia for more info on unit gloria, simply because of the entrancing name, and discovered to my horror that the guy in the purple crocheted thingummy died last year, after a lifetime of publishing stridently anti-establishment albums blasting both dutch and american social policies.

    of course, i’m not completely sure that purple-crochet guy is, in fact, the legendary robert long, but it looks enough like him for my purposes.

    some unit gloria fan service here:

    and the official unit gloria (“the most under valued pop group in the Netherlands”) website here:

    i had no luck finding out what the girl whose father owns her pussy is up to, but i’m thinking it’s no good.

  18. Stiletto said,

    June 11, 2007 at 2:40 am

    Aside from the covers, is any of the music good or actually palatable?

  19. Vanessa said,

    June 11, 2007 at 3:14 am

    Good question, Stil. I’ve no idea as I don’t actually own any of these albums, but I have a sneaking suspicion I would find all of them palatable. I’m weird like that.

  20. Vanessa said,

    June 11, 2007 at 3:59 am

    Oh, I set myself right up for this one. Gullybogan, I just clicked on one of those links and the rockin’ sounds of Unit Gloria blasted all around the shop floor. (I work in a furniture shop and the musical ambience is broadcast through my computer). I can still hear the strains of laughter from downstairs……

    I shall click again when I get home. Welcome back from the spam bin, by the way. 😀

  21. Stiletto said,

    June 11, 2007 at 5:55 am

    Why did I think you were a nurse?

    And I swear, no, it is not related to my current post!

  22. Vanessa said,

    June 11, 2007 at 11:05 am

    Heh, I have no idea where you would have got that idea. Radio announcer to nurse. Interesting segue…! 🙂

  23. Stiletto said,

    June 11, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    There was some post where you said you were running off to the hospital and yes this was before your colon post WHICH reminds me I still need to read it.

  24. Stiletto said,

    June 11, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    Maybe it was some sexy fantasy post and I got all confused which wouldn’t be a first nor a last.

  25. Vanessa said,

    June 11, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    Hmmm… haaahmm…. A sexy fantasy post about nurses? Now there’s an idea….

  26. Stiletto said,

    June 11, 2007 at 8:58 pm

    Oh yeah, there’s this controversial burger joint in Arizona with waitresses dressed as nurses. Hooters has nothing on these outfits!

  27. June 12, 2007 at 6:05 am

    […] More classic LP covers at Vanessa is … […]

  28. July 13, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    […] Vinyl Beauties 3 […]

  29. piterwall said,

    September 13, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    hii……nice image..i like this page.

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