Vanessa is…

 

The utterly glorious Mister Peace tagged me inadvertantly with his “google images” meme.

 

What is this, you ask?

 

Here are the rules:

1) Go to http://www.Google.com

2) Click on Google images

3) Type in your name and search

4) Repost (w/ a link) the picture of the oddest, craziest, strangest, coolest, oldest, etc. person that shares your name. Post multiples if you find a few you like. (See Below)

5) Pass it on to at least 5 other people.

 

As is my way, I don’t do tags by halves. I find them oddly inspiring. Probably because it’s a chance to wax lyrical about myself to my heart’s content.

So, here we have it.

I’ve always liked my name. Nay, loved my name. Not many people say that about their own name… but I suppose I can credit my parents for having immaculate taste. Mind you, I was almost called Miranda, which is also a lovely name, but my grandmother protested loudly, and I became Vanessa.

I have been told most often throughout my life, is that my name means, “butterfly”.

So, it’s quite understandable that for a long time, I believed that I was some kind of enigmatic butterfly, until I discovered that the name Vanessa, is just the name for a genus of butterly, like these:

I am all of these butterflys, and if that means that my name “means” butterfly, how could I complain? Butterflys are the epitome of delicacy and beauty…

Of course, that also makes me pupa and caterpillar, which strangely thrills me just as much, if not more…

I delved further.

 

Apparently, I am also shoes, which would please me no end if I had a shoe fetish, but then again maybe not, because you’ve got to admit, they’re not very spectaclar shoes…

 

It turns out, I am also a doll. A hot doll, no less. I am ever so pleased.

 

And some beautiful blooms. I can’t think of prettier flowers to carry my name….

 

 

This painting is called “Vanessa”, by Guy Morand. Does this make me his muse by default…?

 

I am also fluffy white cats. Only. No other colour need apply. Apparently.

 

Hey, I’m a computerised chess game! Which is pretty cool. I haven’t played chess since before my grandfather died when I was 9. Nobody has agreed to played with me since. I can’t help but wonder if there is a reason for that…?

 

Girlfriend! I’m a drag queen. Fabulous, darling! (you know it had to be a big photo with that outfit…)

 

And, as is the contrary nature of my being, I am also a strange piece of machinery related to the rotary process, whatever that is….

 

 

A somewhat groovy chair? It works for me. I do work with furniture, after all…

 

I am also Johnny Depp’s gorgeous, French pseudo ex-popstar girlfriend/partner/wife. Go, me!

 

And facial cleanser. I wonder if I could snag an endorsement?

 

 

Ships. Can you believe that all these ships are called “Vanessa”? Me neither. I like it. I love ships. And boats. Water is my element, all over. I dig it.

 

 

 

This one pleases me more than most. I love aeroplanes. A biplane called “Vanessa”. How many people can boast that? I wonder who inspired it?

 

 

But, I think above all, I will always remain a pygmy goat.

 

What is in your name?

 

(Don’t) Follow the rules, people… 😉

 

Tag yourself.

 

 

 

Song of the Day – Turin Brakes – Forever

 

 

 

I Am An Addict

I have a confession to make.

I have developed an addiction.

An addiction to vintage handbags.

It’s always been there, but it’s grown to the point where I am seriously considering putting a ban on myself from logging into eBay ever again.

Then again, whatever makes you happy, right? It’s more fun and useful than collecting souvenir teaspoons.

I thought I’d show you my winning bids from the last couple of weeks. Who doesn’t like to look at pretty things?

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This rather jolly looking 70’s number is a great size, in excellet condition and arrived on my doorstep from the UK this week. Needs to lose a certain musty odour, but at least that lets you know it’s not a fake.

Unlike this one:

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…which I also now have in my possession and is NOT vintage, as advertised. Farkinell. You can’t bloody well trust anyone these days. The only reason I’m not going to kick up a fuss, is that despite the false advertsing, it is a lovely bag with very dense beading. I’ll definitely get some use out of it and I didn’t pay much.

 

 

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Another 70’s vision, which also arrived this week. My mum had handbags like this when I was a kid. It’s leather, of course and very roomy. I took it out with me when I went out for lunch this week and I couldn’t be happier. Especially considering it only cost me AU$15.

 

 

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So, not only do I have a fetish for vintage handbags in general, but also a fetish for pretty much anything made by Enid Collins in the 1960’s. This box bag is one of her creations. It arrived in the mail today and it is just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, much nicer than in the photo. Yay!

It’s also cute when you open it up….

iron_horse_2.jpg

 

And whilst we’re on an automotive tangent….

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This is another Enid Collins (Collins of Texas) bag I managed to get my grubby little paws on. Woohoo!

 

 

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This tooled leather 70’s bag was apparently once used in a movie. Which movie that was, nobody seems to be quite sure…. I’ll er… keep an eye out.

 

 

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This one I adore. It’s so pretty and unusual. I’m already scoping out places to put it on display… Hmm. Maybe it will make a nice jewellery box…

Other perspectives:

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And finally….

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Another Enid Collins creation from the 60’s. So pretty…. [sigh]

 

 

So, you see why I need help? This infatuation is starting to get out of control. I wonder if there is a treatment centre for handbag addiction. I think I need some aversion therapy.

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to log into eBay…. to leave some feedback. Yeah, that’s it…….

 

 

Song of the Day – The Rezillos – Somebody’s Going To Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight

 

Those Crazy Scandinavians…

I wasn’t going to post another blog until tomorrow night, but I just came across this little gem and if I don’t share it with you right this minute, I couldn’t live with myself for depriving you of such a stellar slice of cheese.

It’s a Finnish cover of The Village People’s “YMCA”, by ’70s rokk ikkons Gregorious. Remember them?

No, me neither, but I hear they were HUGE in Finland.

I don’t care what anyone says, any video featuring scoop shorts, tube socks and an electric organ has to be good.

This video makes me happy.

Just watch. You won’t regret it:

And if you can’t get enough of those wonderful Finns and their cutting-edge choreography and fashion sense, CLICK HERE.

I am booking a holiday to Finland tomorrow. Anyone care to join me?

Ok, I’m taking my poor, sleep deprived self off to bed. I will endeavour to be back tomorrow, to begin posting the seemingly endless backlog of photo blogs I have pending… oyy…

Via Boing Boing

Song Of The Day – The Sex Pistols – Silly Thing

Yacht Rock #9

Well, we’re nearly at the end, folks.

If you’ve found this blog through a search engine query for Yacht Rock, welcome!

You’ve come to the right place…

God knows, Jules and I are beyond happy to know that there are other people on the planet who appeciate smooth cheese…

So, here we have Episode 9 of Yacht Rock – “Runnin’ With The Devil”

 

In Episode 9:

Does Drew Carey have a heart? Could Van Halen be the connection between smooth music and the future?

Who will win the battle? The Heavy Metal Devil? Or, Smooth Jesus?

Skiddly diddly bop!

 

See for yourselves:

 

Coming soon: In the next and final episode, who will win the fight to keep smooth music alive? Steely Dan, or the Eagles?

Stay tuned….

 

Yacht Rock 1 – “What A Fool Believes”
Yacht Rock 2 – “Keep The Fire”
Yacht Rock 3 – “I’m Alright”
Yacht Rock 4 – “Rosanna”
Yacht Rock 5 – “I Believe In It” & Yacht Rock 6 – “The Seed Drill”
Yacht Rock 7 – “I Keep Forgettin'”
Yacht Rock 8 – “Gino (The Manager)”

 

Yacht Rock Online

 

 

Song Of The Day – Sufjan Stevens – Chicago

 

 

Showdown at the Tulip Corral

The weather was fine for the first time in weeks. A near month of rain had caused flowers to bloom and inhabitants to crawl up the walls with cabin fever. A couple of decent storms had filled the swimming hole with debris and the garden was wild and weather beaten.

Bilbo stepped tentatively from the window that was always left open for him, even in the most biting chill. He wasn’t keen on the cold and preferred to sleep, eat and not much else in the winter months. His humans still liked to give him the option to go outside as he pleased. Mostly because they didn’t like to change the litter box too often.

Today was different.

Today, it was sunny. Flowers were blooming, in anticipation for the spring and the sparse warmth of the sun gave new life.

However, Bilbo wasn’t interested in flowers.

He liked clay.

The sun, the clay and the close proximity to chlorine made for a strange chemical reaction in Bilbo.

It was a perfect day.

Before long, Bilbo’s brother Spiffy had a similar idea, yet only simliar in the sense that he wanted to be outdoors on such a glorious day. Spiffy loved to be outside and had been terribly frustrated at all that water falling from the sky ruining his important business.

Immediately on stepping through the window, Spiffy spied his brother and strolled over to say hello.

Spiffy told Bilbo that he was going over the fence to take care of some long overdue business. Bilbo thought he’d take advantage of the peace and quiet, and have a bit of a lie down and enjoy the afternoon sun.

Little did he know, Spiffy had other ideas.

Nobody likes being stalked with stealth, no matter the intention.

Spiffy snuck up from behind. “BOO! HAHAHA!!”

He gave Bilbo an awful fright.

Bilbo was livid. “Don’t EVER sneak up on me like that!! I’ve told you too many times! Leave me alone!!”

Spiffy was beginning to enjoy his little game.

“Hehe, got ya a beauty!”

“Fuck you Spiffy! I’ve got a foot and I’m not afraid to use it!”

“Oh yeah? Let’s see what you’ve got…”

Bilbo launched a swift kick at Spiffy’s sternum.

“Owww! You didn’t have to hurt me!”

“Hah! Now who’s “got” who?” said Bilbo. “And just for that, I’m going to show you my scary face!!”

Spiffy was taken aback, but only momentarily.

“Pfft” he scoffed. “You call that a scary face? I’ll show you scary…!!”

“Right! That’s it!!” growled Bilbo. “It’s on!!”

And so it was at the Tulip Corral.

 

 

Song Of The Day – The Cure – A Forest

Far Too Random For A Cohesive Title

Woah.

My eyes are going crosseyed and my shoulders are super tense from typing.

Typing what, you ask?

I finally came to realise yesterday, what a bloody good thing is flickr.

I’ve had an account for a while, but haven’t really used it until now. I was having a poke around the site and was impressed with the easy and logical methods as to which you can organise your photos. Also, they’re stored online whether you pay your bill or not. This is heartening and to me, a lot more comforting than my non-existant dodgy backup methods.

I also realised pretty quickly that the free account wasn’t going to cut it for the volume of photographs I keep on my computer. I upgraded to the Pro account and since yesterday, I’ve uploaded, labeled and categorised 350 photographs… and I’ve barely touched the surface.

Tonight I was uploading photos from a trip to Sydney last year, and I noticed something strange. Literally as my photographs were being uploaded, people were looking at them. Freaky. The more I uploaded, the more the individual photo view count increased, within seconds of uploading.

I’m bloody glad they you can adjust the settings for who can view what, although I have to admit I did get a bit of a thrill from people actually being interested in my boring holiday photos, heh.

I was given the gift of Photoshop a couple of weeks ago, and it’s got me all gooey about taking photos again. Although, what I’ve been uploading to flickr, is mostly archival to this point. Check out my page if you’re having trouble sleeping, heh.

It’s 3am and I’m done with flickr for today.

In lieu of something more interesting, here are some photos I took of a truck that rolled over on the Mitchell Freeway recently. I thought it was pretty exciting….

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As you can see, emergency services were out in force. It made a big bloody mess. Thankfully nobody was hurt.

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Yes, I am taking photos and driving on the freeway at the same time. Don’t ty this at home, kids.

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It’s around this time that I’m feeling rather smug for driving north at the right time. Those people would have been stuck there for hours. And I mean, hours. The jam went on for miles, too.

Other than that, I’ve not energy for much although I’m feeling quite spiffy from a few glasses of the ol’ strawberry champagne….

Here is a list of music I joyfully downloaded on the weekend:

Emilie Simon – Ice Girl
Emilie Simon – Femme FataleEmilie Simon – Je N’Veux Pas Rester Sage
Emilie Simon – Fleur de Saison
Emilie Simon – Le Desert
Emilie Simon – All Is White
Emilie Simon – Flowers
Marvin Gaye – Praise
The Jam – The Butterfly Collector
The Jackson Five – Looking Through The Windows
Pulp – Cocaine Socialism
Brian Eno – Another Green World
Curtis Mayfield – Trippin’ Out
Gang of Four – To Hell With Poverty!
The Verve – On Your Own
Geordie – All Because Of You
Dusty Springfield – How Can I Be Sure?
Dusty Springfield – Wishin’ and Hopin’
Nick Drake – Tow The Line
Charlotte Gainsbourg – L’un Part L’Autre Reste
Charlotte Gainsbourg – Little Monsters
Charlotte Gainsbourg – The Songs That We Sing
Charlotte Gainsbourg – Morning Song
Coldplay – Bigger Stronger
The Osmonds – One Bad Apple
Lulu – The Man Who Sold The World
Jona Lewie – You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties
Chris Spedding – Motor Bikin’
Phoenix – Long Distance Call
Phoenix – Run Run Run
Phoenix – Too Young
Phoenix – If I Ever Feel Better
Arctic Monkeys – Bigger Boys And Stolen Sweethearts
All Saints – Black Coffee
Joy Division – Dead Souls
Nick Lowe – Cruel To Be Kind
Dave Edmunds – Girls Talk
Talking Heads – Crosseyed And Painless
Talking Heads – Radio Head
Outkast – Two Dope Boyz (In A Cadillac)
Kings Of Convenience – I’d Rather Dance With You
Kings Of Convenience – Misread
Kings Of Convenience – The Weight Of My Words (Four Tet Instrumental Remix)
Heaven 17 – Let Me Go
ABBA – The Day Before You Came
Razorlight – Before I Fall To Pieces
Razorlight – America
Razorlight – Golden Touch
Razorlight – Stumble And Fall
Anita O’Day & Gene Krupa – Side By Side
Time Bandits – Endless Road
The Finn Brothers – Won’t Give In
Britney Spears – Breathe On Me (Jacques Lu Conts Thin White Duke Mix)
The Toys – A Lover’s Concerto
Air – How Does It Make You Feel?
Air – Alpha Beta Gaga
Air – Surfin’ On A Rock
Johnny Wakelin – In Zaire
Gorillaz – Ghost Train
Judy Street – What

Music makes me happy. You may have guessed.


Song Of The Day – Talking Heads – Crosseyed And Painless

I Got Flowers!

I am overjoyed.

No, nobody gave me flowers. I would be too busy dying of a heart attack if that happened, to post a blog.

I have flowers in my garden. Flowers that I planted myself.

FOR REAL, TRUE BLUE, FAIR DINKUM…

flowers.

I know it’s not quite normal to get excited over a few flowers. The world is full of flowers, after all… but if you had my appalling track record when it comes to having a level of responsibility high enough to keep a plant alive, you too would be excited. I could murder a plant at 20 paces just by looking at it. I’ve even killed a freaking cactus.

Strangely enough, I’ve never had the same problem with weeds…

I’m dead impressed that most of my bulbs have come up. Half the tulips are yet to be seen, but the jonquils are flowering already and the hyacinth’s are bursting forth.

Oh, check out the carrots. Remember the first one I pulled? You can just see that they’re ALL going to look like that. Poor little carrots.

Did you like my little slideshow? Apologies if the spinning photo’s made you dizzy, but they remind me of that spinning segue effect in the original Batman and I couldn’t resist. You gotta love the original Batman. Here’s the trailer for the 1966 movie. If you’ve never seen it, it’s a must. Hilarious.

Watch out for the Exploding Man Eating Shark. Holy sardine!!

Fantastic.

 

 

So.

 

I have now given birth to vegetables, flowers and cats.

 

Next stop……….children!

 

Eh, maybe not.

 

I don’t think anyone who includes Batman and carrots in the same blog, is qualified to be a parent.

 

 

 

Song of the Day – The Captain Matchbox Whoopie Band – If Youse A Viper

I Am Not Dead (Yet)

I have been sick.

Sicker than sick.

As sick as sick can be.

I am still sick.

It’s been 13 days now.

I’ve had enough.

[cough, splutter]

At least I am no longer coughing up blood. That was not fun.

Tonsillitis. And the Flu. And a generalised infection.

I haven’t felt this sick since I had Glandular Fever (Mono). I was in hospital for two weeks. Mainly because I had Viral Meningitis as well, but I was sick for months that time.

I hate being sick. [grumble, grumble]

Thankyou to everyone who has missed me. It feels good to be missed.

This is me:

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This happened a lot when I was at my worst:

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Breathing made me cry. Don’t even talk about swallowing…

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NOTHING helped (except the antibiotics). All these drugs are a ruse by the pharmaceutical companies to make a load of cash out of people’s suffering. Take note.

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I have done nothing but sleep and watch television and movies for 13 days. This is what my eyes look like now:

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Here is a list of movies I have watched. Some I barely remember due to my state of semi-lucidity, but I’ve seen most of them before anyway. Some of them more than a few times:

Mildred Pierce

T.I.S.M – Incontinent In Ten Continents

T.I.S.M – TV Primer

American Psycho

Bad Timing

The Virgin Suicides

Harold and Maude

The Taste Of Others

Sunset Boulevard

Inside Deep Throat

True Romance

In Her Shoes

ENRON – The Smartest Guys In The Room

Puberty Blues

Stoned

Love My Way – Series One

Monster

The 40 Year Old Virgin

I *heart* Huckabees

Shampoo

Don’t Look Now

Withnail & I

Hi Fidelity

Swing Time

The Birds

Shaun of the Dead

Thank You For Smoking

 

 

 

I will write more when I am able.

 

 

The cats always get the last word:

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Song Of The Day – Tex Williams – Smoke! Smoke! Smoke That Cigarette

Yacht Rock #7

Greetings fellow hipsters (and saddo music trivia geeks like myself)

It is that time again.

Time, for Yacht Rock Episode 7 – “I Keep Forgettin'”

Just so you know, there are only 10 episodes of Yacht Rock, so I’ll be shutting up about it soon.. 😀

In today’s installment:

We already know it’s the 80’s and smooth is out, right? So, how can Michael McDonald possibly win a bet to get his smooth sounds to #2 on the charts?

And how long is too long to settle a bet?

Find out the answer to these questions, and more….

Yacht Rock 1 – “What A Fool Believes”
Yacht Rock 2 – “Keep The Fire”
Yacht Rock 3 – “I’m Alright”
Yacht Rock 4 – “Rosanna”
Yacht Rock 5 – “I Believe In It” & Yacht Rock 6 – “The Seed Drill”

Yacht Rock Online

Coming in Episode 8 – We’re going back in time. To the birth… of Yacht Rock. Yay!

 

 

Song Of The Day – Architecture in Helsinki – Heart it Races

 

Vanessa’s Vids 1

I’m starting a new series.

I was inspired by watching the Saturday morning part of last weekend’s Rage today, which I’d recorded on DVD…

Aussie’s will get that.

I saw some old favourites and enjoyed them so much, I started making a list. . .

There are songs and accompanying music video’s I have loved over the years and I feel a compulsion to share them with you.

The only criteria is that I have to like both the song and the video.

A lot.

It matters not what era, or genre it comes from.

It just has to be of quality. Funny or not.

Here is the first.

The band is Supergrass and the song is “Pumping On Your Stereo”. I’ve just watched it on YouTube, after viewing it on my rather large televsion, and despite how it looks on the small screen, believe me when I say there is almost nothing in the way of CGI going on here, if anything at all.

It’s just very clever puppeteering and crafty camerawork.

It really doesn’t look nearly as good on blotchy old YouTube as it does on my plasma, but it still makes me smile.

I hope you like it.

More to come. . .

 

 

 

Song Of The Day – Supergrass – Pumping On Your Stereo

My First Carrot

 

 

 

It’s a baby carrot. Shh.

 

Negative comments could damage his psyche.

 

 

P.S..Babies are cute and they taste good.

 

 

 

Song Of The Day – David Bowie – Look Back In Anger

Vinyl Beauties 3

Woohoo!

It’s the next installment of “Vinyl Beauties”.

Cheesy records make me happy. So very happy…

Vinyl Beauties 1
Vinyl Beauties 2

I have so many of these glorious album covers, I’m spoilt for choice. I also have no idea where each and every one of these was pinched from, but I figure it’s not from their original source, so it doesn’t really matter…

Let’s just get started, eh?

 

What episode of Vinyl Beauties would be complete without some gratuitous nudity? Although I have to say, that the title paired with the image does my head in a bit. I’m not sure I even want to go there…

What I do like is some of the song titles – which do make me suspect that this record was not made in all seriousness….

“Sadie’s Still Got The Rag On”, “He Forgot His Rubbers”, “Tony’s Got Hot Nuts”… and then there’s always “Things Are Soft For Grandma Since Grandpa’s Eighty-Four”

I think that young lady was a bit warm under the lights. What do you think?

Stunning.

 

Someone’s mother is handy with a crochet hook…

Strangely enough, the outfit on the guy in purple would look quite fashionable right now…. on a woman. I’m somewhat impressed with the crocheted cowboy hat, although that guy is looking like he wouldn’t be out of place on a website for foot fetishists.

Do you think they could have put the palm in a more attractive container? Or at least placed it so the ugly plastic pot wasn’t in shot. Maybe they were in a hurry because the funeral home was about to close…

 

 

Hmm. Where to start with this one? Who is Bob McFadden and who is “Dor”? Is it his sister? Are they in the photo? Who are those people?

Is their “Mummy” a fertile, petrified, musical superhero?

We can only speculate…

 

 

Heh, well I have no problem with the proclamation that Jesus is a “Soul Man”, but I reckon this lot are in need of some divine guidance to make them appear even vaguely soulful…

Note to Naomi: A-line skirts and horizontal stripes around the hip of a full figured woman are not flattering…

Are we seriously supposed to believe these men are brothers?

 

 

Looks like poor Effie is has hit the skids. Either that, or she’s/he’s impersonating me at around the 3rd bottle of champagne mark. A bottle and head in hand is never a good combination…

Hmm. Should I be worried?

So, how is it, Effie? Tell it like it is….

I’d say her feet are hurting. Check out the size of her shoes…

 

So there you have it for another edition of “Vinyl Beauties”.

 

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Feel free to throw in your own interpretations….

 

 

 

 

Song Of The Day – Turin Brakes – Slack

 

 

Yacht Rock 5 & 6 (bumper edition)

Yah, it’s been a while….

I’ve no excuse for slacking off with my postings of Yacht Rock, but I’m quite sure than no one but Jules will have noticed. Mind you, I do get a lot of search engine traffic for it, so it’s on with the show….

Let’s see. Where are we up to?

Ah, yes. Episode 5 – “I Believe In It”.

I’m quite fond of this one…

In this episode, these questions and more, may or may not be answered:

  1. Who really put the smooth in Michael Jackson? It appears a spear gun plays some part…
  2. How could Michael Jackson possibly be a catalyst for Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald to kiss and make up?
  3. Who knew that Vincent Price had supernatural powers? And here I was, thinking he was just an actor…

Go! Go! Toto go!

Bye bye Koko! [waves]

And as a special bonus, here is Episode 6 – “The Seed Drill”.

I’m not only posting this to make up time, but also because it’s an odd episode and I’m not sure it would stand too well on its own…

It’s a history lesson with a difference.

And the lesson is Jethro Tull. The real Jethro Tull. Watch and you’ll see…

Hint: You will appreciate it a whole lot more if you’ve watched Episode One. 😉

Is it wrong that I can name every Jethro Tull song included on the soundtrack? I feel like such a tragic…

Yacht Rock 1 – “What A Fool Believes”
Yacht Rock 2 – “Keep The Fire”
Yacht Rock 3 – “I’m Alright”
Yacht Rock 4 – “Rosanna”

Yacht Rock Online

 

Coming in Episode Seven: Dr Dre saves Michael McDonald? Can it be true? (Michael sure does need a lot of saving…)

 

Song Of The Day – Jethro Tull – Songs FromThe Wood

I Like Flags

Watching sport where there is more than one country involved gets me a bit excited… sometimes. Moreso when it’s something like the Olympics, or the World Cup (or Eurovison). I love watching sport. I love the excitement, the suspense, the booze and snacks…

I also love the flags.

(and the national anthems, but that’s another story)

Call me strange, but that kind of thing interests me. I like design. After watching yet another multinational tournament, I started to look up a few of the flags and found a whole new world (trying really hard not to burst into song here) of weird and wonderful flags of all nations.

I used to know all the European flags as a kid, after spending a good 6 months travelling around the continent. There isn’t much from Europe in this crop, but I did manage to come up with some of the more interesting, beautiful, ugly and slightly odd flags from around the world.

I’m possibly going to entertain nobody but myself here… but I’m kind of used to that, being an only child and all. If you want to play with me, you can come along. I don’t mind at all. I know I’m not the only geeky geek in the house…

I’ve narrowed it down to my Top 20.

It would be less, but I had enough trouble narrowing it down to this many.

So, without further ado…. and in no particular order….

BELIZE
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Aaaand first off the mark we have Belize. That wreath reminds me of one of those optical illusions where if you stare at the dot in the middle the circle starts moving around. Check it out! It’s moving! Except there is no dot in the middle.
What we have here is ebony and ivory working in perfect harmony… yet a bit apart. Or are they side by side? It says something about the country. They work the land. That’s what they do. Anyone got a problem with that? I don’t think you’d wanna fight those guys.. You might end up with a shovel in the head.

This flag also looks a bit like a corporate logo for a Latin American Kibbutz (?) Huhhh.

BAHRAIN
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Aww. It looks like the Burger King is having a bit of a nap. Other than that, I guess it’s quite striking, if a bit on the nautical side.

Sweet dreams, Burger King. When you wake, I’ll have a Whopper with cheese, add bacon. Thanks.

GEORGIA
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I’d love to live under this flag. It brings to mind all things medieval and knights of old. How wonderful. I also think it says, “Don’t fuck with us!”…and having met a few Georgian rugby players, I wouldn’t be doing anything of the sort.

GIBRALTAR
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Speaking of things medieval, come in Wizard of Id!

The King is a fink…!

How cool is that flag?

TUVALU
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One of the world’s smallest independant nations. A group of nine islands, smack bang in the middle of the Pacific. About halfway between Hawaii and Australia. So, if you’re ever trying to swim across, remember you have a rest stop. Isn’t that nice to know? I’m sure they have coconuts.

This flag makes me giggle every time I look at it because it looks like a drunk Aussie has tried to draw the Australian flag. Either that, or it’s the end result of a game of ‘Pin The Stars On The Southern Cross’…

ANTARCTICA
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Who knew that Antarctica has its own flag?

Part Rorsarch Ink Blot Test, part rhinoceros head…. you figure it out. The penguins must be pleased.

ANDORRA
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I like this one because it has moo cows on it. Any flag with moo cows on it is alright with me.

“Hello, we are from Andorra and we have cows”. Fantastic.

SWAZILAND
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Ah.. here we have Africa tapping into their rich visual heritage. It makes a strong statement about the country it’s representing. It’s a fine flag all ’round, but really I just like saying SWAZILAND.

Oh, and Richard E. Grant comes from Swaziland and Richard E. Grant rules. The end.

HONG KONG
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This flag must always be flown in conjunction with the Chinese flag and it’s not a Hibiscus flower, it’s a Bauhinia Blakensis. Okay? Good. I’m glad we’ve got that sorted. It is rather pretty though, don’t you think?

Can someone email this to Waldeck’s Garden Centre? I think they need a new logo.

LEBANON
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Ah, yes. I always think of lush, green trees when I think of Lebanon. Doesn’t everyone? An interesting, paradoxically peaceful symbol in a country that is effectively a bloody mess. I went there as a child and I don’t remember much except a lot of concrete and men with big guns.

I mean, I know the Cedar is native to Lebanon, but who are they trying to fool, exactly? Wishful thinking, perhaps…

GREENLAND
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I think this flag is hot. I dig it for it’s retro 60’s/70’s interior design sensibilities. It would make some fabulous wallpaper, no?

NEPAL
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Trust Nepal to think outside the square. The only national flag on the planet that isn’t a horizontal rectangle. They’re dancing to their own tune and it shows. Good on ya Nepal!

ISLE OF MAN
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Freaky freak show!! Haha! I LOVE this flag. This is my favourite. It has a sense of humour. How good is that? I also love that it’s rich in Anglo/Celtic mythology. Rock on.

TURKMENISTAN
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Just like the old Silk Road from Europe to Asia… or possibly a Persian carpet runner I once owned….

MYANMAR
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The country formerly known as Burma. They have corn! Is it corn? Does Burma grow a lot of corn? If they don’t grow a lot of corn, you’d have to wonder why the hell they have a head of corn on their flag … What’s all that about?

LESOTHO
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Hehe… The national emblem of Lesotho is a finger puppet. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I like finger puppets. Finger puppets are fun.

Either that, or the ol’ Rorsach Ink Blot Test is back…

KIRIBATI
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What’s this? Kiribati sinking beneath the waves of the Pacific due to the effects of Global Warming?

Oh, well. At least the bird looks like he’s having fun….

SAUDI ARABIA
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Does anyone here speak Arabic? So accessible, as you would kind of expect, really.

Oh, oh… I just took a crash course in Arabic. It is apparently the Muslim creed, “There is no god but God; Muhammed is the Messenger of God”. Consider yourself told.

TIBET
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I like this one. A little psychedelic, complete with oddly coloured sunbeams, swirls and spooky green monsters… and strangely asymmetrical with the unfinished yellow border…

Tibet’s flag is of course, due to its national state of limbo, unrecognised. I dunno, it looks pretty recognisable to me…

UGANDA
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A German (?) cock in Africa, from the country that gave us Idi Amin. There has to be some connection there. 500,000 dead Ugandan’s can’t be wrong…

Interesting that the recent film didn’t depict him feeding homosexual’s their own penises…. Or that he was stark raving bonkers due to a nasty case of Syphillis? Or did it? I didn’t see it..

So, there you have it.

So, go on…. tell me your favourite.

Or… have I just completely out-geeked myself? Hah!

Vinyl Beauties 2

I love vinyl.

I have loads of it. So much that it’s becoming a bit of a problem, because I move house so often… but I can’t seem to part with any of my records.

More about that here:

Vinyl Beauties – Part 1

And here is Part Deux. Not before time, I know. I’ve gathered such a huge collection of dodgy album covers online, that it may take me a year to post them all….

Yay!

I chose these ones at random.  I closed my eyes and clicked.

First off the block we have:


20minwrkout.jpg

Is her neck broken? Or perhaps her back?

I’ve been doing aerobics on and off for 20 years and I can quite safely say that this particular move has never been part of any routine I’ve followed. In fact, I used to throw my head around like that when I was dancing in my misspent youth, and all the favours it did me, was ongoing neck and back problems. I wonder how she’s doing these days..?

Is my interpretation of digital timing wrong, or is that a 20 second workout? Ah, 20 minutes. Oh, well… if I’d end up with a body like hers, I might just try it…

It was seen on TV, after all…

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Astronauts in gaily coloured suits and multicoloured women from outer space (those curly antennae never work well, in my experence). Apparently they’re thrilling the ladies with gifts. What those gifts are, are anyone’s guess. I think they’re cocktails…? In brandy balloons. Hey, brandy is brown, man! I hate being misrepresented, don’t you?

I’m always up for an escapade, though. Especially in space.

I bags being the pink lady…

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Nice to be with you too, Jim. Didn’t your mother ever tell you it was rude to point?

Smug bastard.

omega.jpg

Their name is Omega, in case you didn’t get it from the prominently placed symbol. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t, because it wasn’t the first thing I noticed…

I think they guy with the blond frizz and I have the same hairdresser….

Is the guy on the right wearing a frock? It’s all very odd. They must be Scandinavian.

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Just because I’ve been so active in my garden this week, I had to choose this one (the only one I actually chose). I always play music whist I’m pottering amongst the living things, but I hadn’t considered playing them Dr George’s music when I’m not around. Maybe that’s why my snow peas died overnight?

Does the fact he is a doctor, have any bearing on his horticultural skills? Maybe he’s a Doctor of Wilting Indoor Plants…

Arright. That’s it for another episode, my lovelies.

Feel free to make your own interpretations…

Song Of The Day – Scott Matthews – Elusive

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