Vanessa is…

 

The utterly glorious Mister Peace tagged me inadvertantly with his “google images” meme.

 

What is this, you ask?

 

Here are the rules:

1) Go to http://www.Google.com

2) Click on Google images

3) Type in your name and search

4) Repost (w/ a link) the picture of the oddest, craziest, strangest, coolest, oldest, etc. person that shares your name. Post multiples if you find a few you like. (See Below)

5) Pass it on to at least 5 other people.

 

As is my way, I don’t do tags by halves. I find them oddly inspiring. Probably because it’s a chance to wax lyrical about myself to my heart’s content.

So, here we have it.

I’ve always liked my name. Nay, loved my name. Not many people say that about their own name… but I suppose I can credit my parents for having immaculate taste. Mind you, I was almost called Miranda, which is also a lovely name, but my grandmother protested loudly, and I became Vanessa.

I have been told most often throughout my life, is that my name means, “butterfly”.

So, it’s quite understandable that for a long time, I believed that I was some kind of enigmatic butterfly, until I discovered that the name Vanessa, is just the name for a genus of butterly, like these:

I am all of these butterflys, and if that means that my name “means” butterfly, how could I complain? Butterflys are the epitome of delicacy and beauty…

Of course, that also makes me pupa and caterpillar, which strangely thrills me just as much, if not more…

I delved further.

 

Apparently, I am also shoes, which would please me no end if I had a shoe fetish, but then again maybe not, because you’ve got to admit, they’re not very spectaclar shoes…

 

It turns out, I am also a doll. A hot doll, no less. I am ever so pleased.

 

And some beautiful blooms. I can’t think of prettier flowers to carry my name….

 

 

This painting is called “Vanessa”, by Guy Morand. Does this make me his muse by default…?

 

I am also fluffy white cats. Only. No other colour need apply. Apparently.

 

Hey, I’m a computerised chess game! Which is pretty cool. I haven’t played chess since before my grandfather died when I was 9. Nobody has agreed to played with me since. I can’t help but wonder if there is a reason for that…?

 

Girlfriend! I’m a drag queen. Fabulous, darling! (you know it had to be a big photo with that outfit…)

 

And, as is the contrary nature of my being, I am also a strange piece of machinery related to the rotary process, whatever that is….

 

 

A somewhat groovy chair? It works for me. I do work with furniture, after all…

 

I am also Johnny Depp’s gorgeous, French pseudo ex-popstar girlfriend/partner/wife. Go, me!

 

And facial cleanser. I wonder if I could snag an endorsement?

 

 

Ships. Can you believe that all these ships are called “Vanessa”? Me neither. I like it. I love ships. And boats. Water is my element, all over. I dig it.

 

 

 

This one pleases me more than most. I love aeroplanes. A biplane called “Vanessa”. How many people can boast that? I wonder who inspired it?

 

 

But, I think above all, I will always remain a pygmy goat.

 

What is in your name?

 

(Don’t) Follow the rules, people… ūüėČ

 

Tag yourself.

 

 

 

Song of the Day – Turin Brakes – Forever

 

 

 

I Am An Addict

I have a confession to make.

I have developed an addiction.

An addiction to vintage handbags.

It’s always been there, but it’s grown to the point where I am seriously considering putting a ban on myself from logging into eBay ever again.

Then again, whatever makes you happy, right? It’s more fun and useful than collecting souvenir teaspoons.

I thought I’d show you my winning bids from the last couple of weeks. Who doesn’t like to look at pretty things?

c8e6_1.jpg

This rather jolly looking 70’s number is a great size, in excellet condition and arrived on my doorstep from the UK this week. Needs to lose a certain musty odour, but at least that lets you know it’s not a fake.

Unlike this one:

1115_1.jpg

…which I also now have in my possession and is NOT vintage, as advertised. Farkinell. You can’t bloody well trust anyone these days. The only reason I’m not going to kick up a fuss, is that despite the false advertsing, it is a lovely bag with very dense beading. I’ll definitely get some use out of it and I didn’t pay much.

 

 

c950_1.jpg

Another 70’s vision, which also arrived this week. My mum had handbags like this when I was a kid. It’s leather, of course and very roomy. I took it out with me when I went out for lunch this week and I couldn’t be happier. Especially considering it only cost me AU$15.

 

 

iron_horsejpg400.jpg

So, not only do I have a fetish for vintage handbags in general, but also a fetish for pretty much anything made by Enid Collins in the 1960’s. This box bag is one of her creations. It arrived in the mail today and it is just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, much nicer than in the photo. Yay!

It’s also cute when you open it up….

iron_horse_2.jpg

 

And whilst we’re on an automotive tangent….

6796_12.jpg

This is another Enid Collins (Collins of Texas) bag I managed to get my grubby little paws on. Woohoo!

 

 

715e_1.jpg

This tooled leather 70’s bag was apparently once used in a movie. Which movie that was, nobody seems to be quite sure…. I’ll er… keep an eye out.

 

 

dscf0010_056.jpg

This one I adore. It’s so pretty and unusual. I’m already scoping out places to put it on display… Hmm. Maybe it will make a nice jewellery box…

Other perspectives:

dscf0015_051.jpg dscf0019_035.jpg

 

And finally….

f78c_12.jpg

Another Enid Collins creation from the 60’s. So pretty…. [sigh]

 

 

So, you see why I need help? This infatuation is starting to get out of control. I wonder if there is a treatment centre for handbag addiction. I think I need some aversion therapy.

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to log into eBay…. to leave some feedback. Yeah, that’s it…….

 

 

Song of the Day – The Rezillos – Somebody’s Going To Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight

 

Showdown at the Tulip Corral

The weather was fine for the first time in weeks. A near month of rain had caused flowers to bloom and inhabitants to crawl up the walls with cabin fever. A couple of decent storms had filled the swimming hole with debris and the garden was wild and weather beaten.

Bilbo stepped tentatively from the window that was always left open for him, even in the most biting chill. He wasn’t keen on the cold and preferred to sleep, eat and not much else in the winter months. His humans still liked to give him the option to go outside as he pleased. Mostly because they didn’t like to change the litter box too often.

Today was different.

Today, it was sunny. Flowers were blooming, in anticipation for the spring and the sparse warmth of the sun gave new life.

However, Bilbo wasn’t interested in flowers.

He liked clay.

The sun, the clay and the close proximity to chlorine made for a strange chemical reaction in Bilbo.

It was a perfect day.

Before long, Bilbo’s brother Spiffy had a similar idea, yet only simliar in the sense that he wanted to be outdoors on such a glorious day. Spiffy loved to be outside and had been terribly frustrated at all that water falling from the sky ruining his important business.

Immediately on stepping through the window, Spiffy spied his brother and strolled over to say hello.

Spiffy told Bilbo that he was going over the fence to take care of some long overdue business. Bilbo thought he’d take advantage of the peace and quiet, and have a bit of a lie down and enjoy the afternoon sun.

Little did he know, Spiffy had other ideas.

Nobody likes being stalked with stealth, no matter the intention.

Spiffy snuck up from behind. ‚ÄúBOO! HAHAHA!!‚ÄĚ

He gave Bilbo an awful fright.

Bilbo was livid. “Don’t EVER sneak up on me like that!! I’ve told you too many times! Leave me alone!!”

Spiffy was beginning to enjoy his little game.

“Hehe, got ya a beauty!”

“Fuck you Spiffy! I’ve got a foot and I’m not afraid to use it!”

“Oh yeah? Let’s see what you’ve got…”

Bilbo launched a swift kick at Spiffy’s sternum.

“Owww! You didn’t have to hurt me!”

“Hah! Now who’s “got” who?” said Bilbo. “And just for that, I’m going to show you my scary face!!”

Spiffy was taken aback, but only momentarily.

“Pfft” he scoffed. “You call that a scary face? I’ll show you scary…!!”

“Right! That’s it!!” growled Bilbo. “It’s on!!”

And so it was at the Tulip Corral.

 

 

Song Of The Day – The Cure – A Forest

Far Too Random For A Cohesive Title

Woah.

My eyes are going crosseyed and my shoulders are super tense from typing.

Typing what, you ask?

I finally came to realise yesterday, what a bloody good thing is flickr.

I’ve had an account for a while, but haven’t really used it until now. I was having a poke around the site and was impressed with the easy and logical methods as to which you can organise your photos. Also, they’re stored online whether you pay your bill or not. This is heartening and to me, a lot more comforting than my non-existant dodgy backup methods.

I also realised pretty quickly that the free account wasn’t going to cut it for the volume of photographs I keep on my computer. I upgraded to the Pro account and since yesterday, I’ve uploaded, labeled and categorised 350 photographs… and I’ve barely touched the surface.

Tonight I was uploading photos from a trip to Sydney last year, and I noticed something strange. Literally as my photographs were being uploaded, people were looking at them. Freaky. The more I uploaded, the more the individual photo view count increased, within seconds of uploading.

I’m bloody glad they you can adjust the settings for who can view what, although I have to admit I did get a bit of a thrill from people actually being interested in my boring holiday photos, heh.

I was given the gift of Photoshop a couple of weeks ago, and it’s got me all gooey about taking photos again. Although, what I’ve been uploading to flickr, is mostly archival to this point. Check out my page if you’re having trouble sleeping, heh.

It’s 3am and I’m done with flickr for today.

In lieu of something more interesting, here are some photos I took of a truck that rolled over on the Mitchell Freeway recently. I thought it was pretty exciting….

wp1.jpg

As you can see, emergency services were out in force. It made a big bloody mess. Thankfully nobody was hurt.

wp2.jpg

Yes, I am taking photos and driving on the freeway at the same time. Don’t ty this at home, kids.

wb3.jpg

It’s around this time that I’m feeling rather smug for driving north at the right time. Those people would have been stuck there for hours. And I mean, hours. The jam went on for miles, too.

Other than that, I’ve not energy for much although I’m feeling quite spiffy from a few glasses of the ol’ strawberry champagne….

Here is a list of music I joyfully downloaded on the weekend:

Emilie Simon – Ice Girl
Emilie Simon – Femme FataleEmilie Simon – Je N’Veux Pas Rester Sage
Emilie Simon – Fleur de Saison
Emilie Simon – Le Desert
Emilie Simon – All Is White
Emilie Simon – Flowers
Marvin Gaye – Praise
The Jam – The Butterfly Collector
The Jackson Five – Looking Through The Windows
Pulp – Cocaine Socialism
Brian Eno – Another Green World
Curtis Mayfield – Trippin’ Out
Gang of Four – To Hell With Poverty!
The Verve – On Your Own
Geordie – All Because Of You
Dusty Springfield – How Can I Be Sure?
Dusty Springfield – Wishin’ and Hopin’
Nick Drake – Tow The Line
Charlotte Gainsbourg – L’un Part L’Autre Reste
Charlotte Gainsbourg – Little Monsters
Charlotte Gainsbourg – The Songs That We Sing
Charlotte Gainsbourg – Morning Song
Coldplay – Bigger Stronger
The Osmonds – One Bad Apple
Lulu – The Man Who Sold The World
Jona Lewie – You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties
Chris Spedding – Motor Bikin’
Phoenix – Long Distance Call
Phoenix – Run Run Run
Phoenix – Too Young
Phoenix – If I Ever Feel Better
Arctic Monkeys – Bigger Boys And Stolen Sweethearts
All Saints – Black Coffee
Joy Division – Dead Souls
Nick Lowe – Cruel To Be Kind
Dave Edmunds – Girls Talk
Talking Heads – Crosseyed And Painless
Talking Heads – Radio Head
Outkast – Two Dope Boyz (In A Cadillac)
Kings Of Convenience – I’d Rather Dance With You
Kings Of Convenience – Misread
Kings Of Convenience – The Weight Of My Words (Four Tet Instrumental Remix)
Heaven 17 – Let Me Go
ABBA – The Day Before You Came
Razorlight – Before I Fall To Pieces
Razorlight – America
Razorlight – Golden Touch
Razorlight – Stumble And Fall
Anita O’Day & Gene Krupa – Side By Side
Time Bandits – Endless Road
The Finn Brothers – Won’t Give In
Britney Spears – Breathe On Me (Jacques Lu Conts Thin White Duke Mix)
The Toys – A Lover’s Concerto
Air – How Does It Make You Feel?
Air – Alpha Beta Gaga
Air – Surfin’ On A Rock
Johnny Wakelin – In Zaire
Gorillaz – Ghost Train
Judy Street – What

Music makes me happy. You may have guessed.


Song Of The Day – Talking Heads – Crosseyed And Painless

Vinyl Beauties 4

Is it just me, or has it it been really quiet around here lately?

I’m half expecting to see a tumbleweed roll across my screen…

Anyway, like it or not, it’s that time again.

Time for more glorious artistic cheese in the form of Vinyl Beauties.

Vinyl Beauties 1
Vinyl Beauties 2
Vinyl Beauties 3

 

Let’s play.

 

 

60_11.jpg

I’m a little confused. She’s run out of tissues? There’s a touch of the Ponds Institute about this.

I don’t think I’ve ever come across a brand of toilet paper that I’d want to drag across my face, save for err…. running out of tissues when I have a cold. Is this a real advertisement?

(And yes, I do know who Lard is. Doesn’t change the fact this is a slightly odd album cover…)

 

329597143_05658280d4.jpg

It’s always nice to have a family Optometrist, don’t you think?

A hairdresser in the family is also a bonus.

I’m tuning into “Where Are They Now” from now on. If anyone can tell us what happened to these child stars, it’s Mel and Kochie.

By the way, can someone tell me what a “Hofer” is? Anyone?

 

precussionbig.jpg

There is a holiday for Percussion? Brilliant.

I’m always up for a day off work, count me in. I have a wicked tambourine.

I can play it, too. Topless.

 

billingtonfuneral.jpg

Ooh. This one asks all the hard questions.

Does it mean that if you are a Christian, your lifeless body will end up in an ugly coffin with an excitable ruched trim? I have to say that this is not an appealing option to me. The curtains do not help.

Apparently it’s a “message”.

Is it just me, or does this read like a threat?

 

img_1049.jpg

Far out! That’s where I’ve been going wrong.

You see, I like jazz. I like swing, and some big band, but most modern jazz leaves me cold. That was until I saw the range of headwear available for the “jet set” jazz listener.

The boots are pretty cool, too.

[adds Dave Pike to her download list]

 

So, that would be all for this edition of Vinyl Beauties. Please feel free to leave your own interpretations…

I love you.

 

 

Song Of The Day – Turin Brakes – The Door

I Got Flowers!

I am overjoyed.

No, nobody gave me flowers. I would be too busy dying of a heart attack if that happened, to post a blog.

I have flowers in my garden. Flowers that I planted myself.

FOR REAL, TRUE BLUE, FAIR DINKUM…

flowers.

I know it’s not quite normal to get excited over a few flowers. The world is full of flowers, after all… but if you had my appalling track record when it comes to having a level of responsibility high enough to keep a plant alive, you too would be excited. I could murder a plant at 20 paces just by looking at it. I’ve even killed a freaking cactus.

Strangely enough, I’ve never had the same problem with weeds…

I’m dead impressed that most of my bulbs have come up. Half the tulips are yet to be seen, but the jonquils are flowering already and the hyacinth’s are bursting forth.

Oh, check out the carrots. Remember the first one I pulled? You can just see that they’re ALL going to look like that. Poor little carrots.

Did you like my little slideshow? Apologies if the spinning photo’s made you dizzy, but they remind me of that spinning segue effect in the original Batman and I couldn’t resist. You gotta love the original Batman. Here’s the trailer for the 1966 movie. If you’ve never seen it, it’s a must. Hilarious.

Watch out for the Exploding Man Eating Shark. Holy sardine!!

Fantastic.

 

 

So.

 

I have now given birth to vegetables, flowers and cats.

 

Next stop……….children!

 

Eh, maybe not.

 

I don’t think anyone who includes Batman and carrots in the same blog, is qualified to be a parent.

 

 

 

Song of the Day – The Captain Matchbox Whoopie Band – If Youse A Viper

My First Carrot

 

 

 

It’s a baby carrot. Shh.

 

Negative comments could damage his psyche.

 

 

P.S..Babies are cute and they taste good.

 

 

 

Song Of The Day – David Bowie – Look Back In Anger

I Like Flags

Watching sport where there is more than one country involved gets me a bit excited… sometimes. Moreso when it’s something like the Olympics, or the World Cup (or Eurovison). I love watching sport. I love the excitement, the suspense, the booze and snacks…

I also love the flags.

(and the national anthems, but that’s another story)

Call me strange, but that kind of thing interests me. I like design. After watching yet another multinational tournament, I started to look up a few of the flags and found a whole new world (trying really hard not to burst into song here) of weird and wonderful flags of all nations.

I used to know all the European flags as a kid, after spending a good 6 months travelling around the continent. There isn’t much from Europe in this crop, but I did manage to come up with some of the more interesting, beautiful, ugly and slightly odd flags from around the world.

I’m possibly going to entertain nobody but myself here… but I’m kind of used to that, being an only child and all. If you want to play with me, you can come along. I don’t mind at all. I know I’m not the only geeky geek in the house…

I’ve narrowed it down to my Top 20.

It would be less, but I had enough trouble narrowing it down to this many.

So, without further ado…. and in no particular order….

BELIZE
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Aaaand first off the mark we have Belize. That wreath reminds me of one of those optical illusions where if you stare at the dot in the middle the circle starts moving around. Check it out! It’s moving! Except there is no dot in the middle.
What we have here is ebony and ivory working in perfect harmony… yet a bit apart. Or are they side by side? It says something about the country. They work the land. That’s what they do. Anyone got a problem with that? I don’t think you’d wanna fight those guys.. You might end up with a shovel in the head.

This flag also looks a bit like a corporate logo for a Latin American Kibbutz (?) Huhhh.

BAHRAIN
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Aww. It looks like the Burger King is having a bit of a nap. Other than that, I guess it’s quite striking, if a bit on the nautical side.

Sweet dreams, Burger King. When you wake, I’ll have a Whopper with cheese, add bacon. Thanks.

GEORGIA
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
I’d love to live under this flag. It brings to mind all things medieval and knights of old. How wonderful. I also think it says, “Don’t fuck with us!”…and having met a few Georgian rugby players, I wouldn’t be doing anything of the sort.

GIBRALTAR
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Speaking of things medieval, come in Wizard of Id!

The King is a fink…!

How cool is that flag?

TUVALU
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
One of the world’s smallest independant nations. A group of nine islands, smack bang in the middle of the Pacific. About halfway between Hawaii and Australia. So, if you’re ever trying to swim across, remember you have a rest stop. Isn’t that nice to know? I’m sure they have coconuts.

This flag makes me giggle every time I look at it because it looks like a drunk Aussie has tried to draw the Australian flag. Either that, or it’s the end result of a game of ‘Pin The Stars On The Southern Cross’…

ANTARCTICA
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Who knew that Antarctica has its own flag?

Part Rorsarch Ink Blot Test, part rhinoceros head…. you figure it out. The penguins must be pleased.

ANDORRA
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
I like this one because it has moo cows on it. Any flag with moo cows on it is alright with me.

“Hello, we are from Andorra and we have cows”. Fantastic.

SWAZILAND
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Ah.. here we have Africa tapping into their rich visual heritage. It makes a strong statement about the country it’s representing. It’s a fine flag all ’round, but really I just like saying SWAZILAND.

Oh, and Richard E. Grant comes from Swaziland and Richard E. Grant rules. The end.

HONG KONG
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
This flag must always be flown in conjunction with the Chinese flag and it’s not a Hibiscus flower, it’s a Bauhinia Blakensis. Okay? Good. I’m glad we’ve got that sorted. It is rather pretty though, don’t you think?

Can someone email this to Waldeck’s Garden Centre? I think they need a new logo.

LEBANON
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Ah, yes. I always think of lush, green trees when I think of Lebanon. Doesn’t everyone? An interesting, paradoxically peaceful symbol in a country that is effectively a bloody mess. I went there as a child and I don’t remember much except a lot of concrete and men with big guns.

I mean, I know the Cedar is native to Lebanon, but who are they trying to fool, exactly? Wishful thinking, perhaps…

GREENLAND
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
I think this flag is hot. I dig it for it’s retro 60’s/70’s interior design sensibilities. It would make some fabulous wallpaper, no?

NEPAL
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Trust Nepal to think outside the square. The only national flag on the planet that isn’t a horizontal rectangle. They’re dancing to their own tune and it shows. Good on ya Nepal!

ISLE OF MAN
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Freaky freak show!! Haha! I LOVE this flag. This is my favourite. It has a sense of humour. How good is that? I also love that it’s rich in Anglo/Celtic mythology. Rock on.

TURKMENISTAN
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Just like the old Silk Road from Europe to Asia… or possibly a Persian carpet runner I once owned….

MYANMAR
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
The country formerly known as Burma. They have corn! Is it corn? Does Burma grow a lot of corn? If they don’t grow a lot of corn, you’d have to wonder why the hell they have a head of corn on their flag … What’s all that about?

LESOTHO
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Hehe… The national emblem of Lesotho is a finger puppet. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I like finger puppets. Finger puppets are fun.

Either that, or the ol’ Rorsach Ink Blot Test is back…

KIRIBATI
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
What’s this? Kiribati sinking beneath the waves of the Pacific due to the effects of Global Warming?

Oh, well. At least the bird looks like he’s having fun….

SAUDI ARABIA
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Does anyone here speak Arabic? So accessible, as you would kind of expect, really.

Oh, oh… I just took a crash course in Arabic. It is apparently the Muslim creed, “There is no god but God; Muhammed is the Messenger of God”. Consider yourself told.

TIBET
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
I like this one. A little psychedelic, complete with oddly coloured sunbeams, swirls and spooky green monsters… and strangely asymmetrical with the unfinished yellow border…

Tibet’s flag is of course, due to its national state of limbo, unrecognised. I dunno, it looks pretty recognisable to me…

UGANDA
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
A German (?) cock in Africa, from the country that gave us Idi Amin. There has to be some connection there. 500,000 dead Ugandan’s can’t be wrong…

Interesting that the recent film didn’t depict him feeding homosexual’s their own penises…. Or that he was stark raving bonkers due to a nasty case of Syphillis? Or did it? I didn’t see it..

So, there you have it.

So, go on…. tell me your favourite.

Or… have I just completely out-geeked myself? Hah!

Vinyl Beauties 2

I love vinyl.

I have loads of it. So much that it’s becoming a bit of a problem, because I move house so often… but I can’t seem to part with any of my records.

More about that here:

Vinyl Beauties – Part 1

And here is Part Deux. Not before time, I know. I’ve gathered such a huge collection of dodgy album covers online, that it may take me a year to post them all….

Yay!

I chose these ones at random.  I closed my eyes and clicked.

First off the block we have:


20minwrkout.jpg

Is her neck broken? Or perhaps her back?

I’ve been doing aerobics on and off for 20 years and I can quite safely say that this particular move has never been part of any routine I’ve followed. In fact, I used to throw my head around like that when I was dancing in my misspent youth, and all the favours it did me, was ongoing neck and back problems. I wonder how she’s doing these days..?

Is my interpretation of digital timing wrong, or is that a 20 second workout? Ah, 20 minutes. Oh, well… if I’d end up with a body like hers, I might just try it…

It was seen on TV, after all…

space-people.jpg

Astronauts in gaily coloured suits and multicoloured women from outer space (those curly antennae never work well, in my experence). Apparently they’re thrilling the ladies with gifts. What those gifts are, are anyone’s guess. I think they’re cocktails…? In brandy balloons. Hey, brandy is brown, man! I hate being misrepresented, don’t you?

I’m always up for an escapade, though. Especially in space.

I bags being the pink lady…

jim-hogg.jpg

Nice to be with you too, Jim. Didn’t your mother ever tell you it was rude to point?

Smug bastard.

omega.jpg

Their name is Omega, in case you didn’t get it from the prominently placed symbol. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t, because it wasn’t the first thing I noticed…

I think they guy with the blond frizz and I have the same hairdresser….

Is the guy on the right wearing a frock? It’s all very odd. They must be Scandinavian.

milsteingrow.jpg

Just because I’ve been so active in my garden this week, I had to choose this one (the only one I actually chose). I always play music whist I’m pottering amongst the living things, but I hadn’t considered playing them Dr George’s music when I’m not around. Maybe that’s why my snow peas died overnight?

Does the fact he is a doctor, have any bearing on his horticultural skills? Maybe he’s a Doctor of Wilting Indoor Plants…

Arright. That’s it for another episode, my lovelies.

Feel free to make your own interpretations…

Song Of The Day – Scott Matthews – Elusive

Tiptoe Thru The Tulips (with me)

Alright, alright. I admit it. There’s not a lot of tiptoeing going on here, nor much in the way of tulips, for that matter….

… but I did spend a lovely couple of hours in the garden yesterday, planting some bulbs which had been sitting in the fridge for longer than the required 6 weeks. I’ve also just found out that they aren’t supposed to be stored in the crisper along with fruit and vegetables, as the fruit and veg gives of ethelyne gas which wrecks the bulbs.

Oops.

In case you can’t tell. I’m a novice gardener. The last time I planted a bulb was as part of a school project when I was 7 years old. Actually, that was the only time I’ve ever planted a flower…

Fingers crossed for these little beauties:

I mixed the pink and red tulips together and planted the rest in separate pots. Aren’t they the prettiest things?

Of course, now I know that you’re not supposed to store them with vegetables, you may see another photoblog with the bulbs looking exactly the same at the end of winter. [worried look] Fingers crossed…

See, I went to all this trouble…..

I got very, very dirty.

Nothing beats sinking your hands into soil..

Oh, well. If worse comes to worst, I still have my other lovelies. Yay for potted vegies! I’m in love with my tomatoes, chillies, onions, baby carrots, spring onions…..

[Spot the dead alien in my pool]

Speaking of tomoatoes…..

Yes, I know it’s just a tomato plant, but it’s MY tomato plant and it’s the first one I’ve ever grown. Well, make that the first six. They’re cherry tomatoes and there are six plants in that pot… and more tomatoes than I can count from here. So sweet and delicious….

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make myself a salad for dinner…. ūüôā

Song Of The Day – Patti Smith – Dancing Barefoot

Ready, Set, EUROVISION!

Pop the champagne and fire up the popcorn maker…. it’s Eurovision!

A high-camp feast of musical mayhem and predictable political prejudices and persuasions. A boon for the bookmakers. An excuse for the European pop music community to drink copious amounts of alcohol and rub uglies. An opportunity for European dancers to grin maniacally and display their interpretive dancing skills. A chance for European set designers to let their penchant for garish colours and flashing lights run free. A night for female performers to wear costumes so brief and wispy so as to get a chill in their kidneys.

Not familiar with the Eurovision Song Contest? Abba had their big break when they won it back in the 70’s with their ostentasiously costumed rendition of ‘Waterloo’.

It is the highlight of my television viewing year. Better even, than the AFL Grand Final. 3 1/2 hours of laugh-til-your-cheeks-hurt, cringe-worthy bliss. This show is FUNNY. F.U.N.N.Y. Thanks, in large part to the wonderful commentary of British tv/radio icon Terry Wogan. Sardonic, dry, and very, very witty with his lovely lilting Irish accent. He ought to be good. He’s been commentating Eurovision for nearly 40 years…

ixsvwogan317.jpg

Every year, Eurovision unintentionally takes on a different theme. Most years at least 90% of the songs feature something in common. Last year just about every person on stage was wearing white. This year, was the year of gothic overtones and pyrotechnics, thanks to the stylings of last year’s winners, Lordi from Finland.

This is the video of Lordi’s winning performace from last year. So much fun. Watch. You won’t regret it. Hard Rock Hallelujah! [how they don’t all go up in flames towards the end, is still quite beyond me…]

Eurovision is watched by over 600 million people worldwide and has a cult following in Australia. We don’t take part in it, for obvious reasons, so we have no vested interest, but the people of Europe take it all terribly seriously, which is funny in itself. We just sit and laugh our boxes off at the supreme kitschness of it all and Sir Wogan’s witticisms.

There are heats and semi-finals in every country that takes part; it goes on and on for months, but the Grand Prix de Europe (er, Grand Final), is open to only 24 countries. The format of the show runs in two parts. First, all 24 countries perform their respective and universally puke-worthy songs. Second half of the programme is the vote. We’ll get to that part.

First, I’ll share some stills of a few choice acts chosen to represent their respective countries:

BULGARIA

eurovision_00002.jpg

It’s the Bulgarian Sheila E and the Mulletman. Ok, his name isn’t really Mulletman, but he does have rather spectacular hair. It’s all about percussion…

UNITED KINGDOM

eurovision_00003.jpg
Honestly. CAN they be serious? Just look at them. This lot make Bucks Fizz look like The Beatles. The UK are given a free pass to the Eurovision final every year, along with Germany, France and Spain. Their entries are almost universally TERRIBLE. The thing that concerns me most, is that the songs selected to represent each country are chosen by the general public… I thought Morrissey was supposed to get a gander this year? What happened?!

GERMANY

eurovision_00004.jpg

Last year, Germany did a Country & Western song, complete with cowboy outfits. This year the flavour was Big Band Swing. In German. How very…. Brecht. Not.

BELARUS

eurovision_00005.jpg

A chintzy pseudo rock song of the highest order, sung by a young man bearing an uncanny resemblance to Princess Diana. Complete with chorus:

Work your magic

You set my beating heart in motion

Will you cast your loving potion

Over me

I rest my case.

GEORGIA

eurovision_00006.jpg

Georgia’s first ever Eurovision Grand Final appearance. It wasn’t half bad, either, if not a bit strange to look at. A couple of energetic, spinning Cossacks waving swords about and a pretty woman in a red dress, singing a kind of electro-goth anthem. I guess you had to be there….

MOLDOVA

eurovision_00007.jpg

This is probably best illustrated by Terry Wogan’s introduction:

“There’s a lot of impetuous head-shaking and scarf-waving, and it’s the outfit of the evening, lads, from Natalia. Altogether now, when she’s finished playing the fiddle, I want you to shout….”PULL UP YOUR TROUSERS!!””

Then, when the song was over:

“We can only hope her mother wasn’t watching that.. [chuckles]. That was quite frightening…”

FORMER YUGOSLAV REPUBLIC OF MACEDONIA

eurovision_00008.jpg

Aren’t you glad you don’t live there? It would take you ten years just to say where you lived. I include this young lady, because she had the longest legs and shortest skirt of the evening, by a long shot. There was even a fairly decent shot of her arse at one point, which thrilled my husband no end. Gotta love those Eurobabes.

HUNGARY

eurovision_00009.jpg

Hungary sings the blues. Maybe they are hung(a)ry? Ok, that was possibly the lamest joke ever uttered, even in the name of Eurovision., but that’s what it does to you. I swear.

Did I mention how wonderful this all looked on the 42″ inch Plasma? Fan-bloody-tastic.

The second half of the show is made up of the voting process, where they cross to 42 separate countries by satellite link to have a short chat and get the results of the telephone votes from the public, via some local tv celebrity. You’d think it would be quite torturous, but it’s actually very amusing. Partly because so many of the votes are so utterly predictable with neighbouring countries and political allies voting for each other, often with complete disregard to the quality of the act they’re voting for. Croatia gives top votes to Bosnia & Herzogovina and vice versa, Iceland votes for Finland, Moldova votes for Romania, Belarus for Russia, Cyprus for Greece… you get the picture. There was an even more apparent voting block going on this year between the Eastern European countries, not helped that there were two new additions to the fray.

Despite the bias and the accompanying tutting and pffting, it all seems to work out in the end.

What really tickles me is that the poor old UK, France and Germany really don’t have any friends to give them the big points, so they just pick up the odd stray vote along the way. Everybody say “awwwwwww”, heh.

SERBIA

This year, Serbia came out on top, by a fairly decent margin with a heart wrenching power ballad to rival all power ballads, sung by a bunch of women in drag, looking like refugees from the island of Lesbos who all seem to have had a nasty accident with the same curling iron:

UKRAINE

… but this is who should have won! If you only watch one of these videos, make it Verka! Hilarious! I’m in love. I want to have his babies. It’s taken me so long to put this blog up because I’ve spent most of the week so far watching Verka videos on YouTube. Best Eurovision song, EVER. It even gives Lordi a run for their money…. WATCH IT. I dare you! [titter]

Only in Europe, could millions of people vote a bunch of women in drag, and a cross dressing man into first and second place in such a political minefield of a song contest. I love it.

So, that pretty much wraps up Eurovision for another year. There were more videos I wanted to include, and if you want to see more, there are loads of great, chuckle-worthy performances on YouTube.

Serbia – 268

Ireland – 5

Oh, stuff it. Here’s one more. This is Switzerland’s entry which didn’t make it past the Semi Final, even though it was tipped as a hot favourite. It cracks me up. The artist is DJ Bobo (which is funny in itself), and the song is…. well, quite surreal. ‘Vampires Are Alive”. Just see it for yourself. Personally I’m quite fond of the shop mannequins in the background.

If you still can’t get enough, check out this blog here. It’s a cracker and it was written by an American who has never felt the sheer elation that a Eurovision final can bring, yet still manages to intrinsically appreciate the supreme cheesiness of it all.¬† ūüėČ

Song Of The Day – Verka Serduchka – Dancing Lasha Tumbai

Flash Cube Flashback!

I found this Kodak commercial from the 60’s. It thrills me.

It’s new! It’s now! It’s Flash Cube!

Help me…. I can’t stop go-go dancing…

Does anyone else remember flash cubes, or am I really starting to show my age? I was a child of the ’70’s and my first camera predated me, but I have very clear memories of those little cubes. You only got 4 flashes per cube…

Whatever you do, don’t blink!

This was my first camera:

82631.jpg

No frills, circa 1968-’73 with no built-in flash. It had a manual wind-on mechanism and I distinctly remember the resounding “click” when you pressed the shutter and the torturous process of winding back the film at the end of a roll. I used to think I was pretty special because my camera had two different settings for if it was sunny or overcast, as you can see in the picture above, just above the lens. It took crappy pictures, but I didn’t care. I took it everywhere with me. Nice to see nothing has changed in that regard…

Ohh, look! I found a picture of me with my trusty Instamatic 33:

child-me_00001.gif

I still have the photos I took that day, which would illustrate beautifully the quality (or lack thereof) of the prints, but I couldn’t be arsed going through 30 boxes to find them. I think I still have the camera somewhere, too….

I am such a hoarder.

Song Of The Day – Cream – Tales Of Brave Ulysses

Vinyl Beauties – Part 1

I have an enormous collection of vinyl records.¬† I mean, too bloody big.¬† Around¬†900+ albums and God knows how many singles (45’s).¬†¬†Could be around the same number.¬† I can’t play any of¬†them because both my turntables are out of order, but I just can’t let go.¬† I’ve given away a few albums over the years and regretted it.¬† Still.¬†¬†So, I lug them around from house to house…

I’ve been collecting records since I was a kid.¬† Pre-teen.¬† I was earning my own money from the age of 9, and what did I spend it on?¬† Yup.¬† You got it.

I was obsessed with music.¬† Not much has changed in that regard, except that I’m running out of space.¬†¬† Records take up a¬†LOT of space.¬†¬†

I worked for a huge¬†record company for a couple of years and had access to their entire back catalogue.¬† Holy Jeebus.¬† I went nuts.¬† They probably got the bill after I left, heh.¬†¬† My CD collection is almost as large as my vinyl, or possibly larger.¬† I’ve never counted.

Part of the reason I hang onto records, is because I love the big covers.¬† There was nothing quite like lying on your bed, listening to your new purchase and examining the artwork and words in fine detail.¬† Ahhh… memories.¬† CD’s just aren’t the same…

Occasionally I still buy vinyl secondhand, if I see a cover I really like.¬† Covers were and are, that cool…

For some time now, I’ve been collecting pictures of joyous vinyl album covers I’ve come across online.¬† There are too many to post in one hit, so I’m starting a series:

aaabolero.jpg

I hate to say it, but¬†she reminds me of me when I’ve had a few too many to drink.¬† Well, I don’t generally try to set my face on fire and I only smoke when I’m very sloshed, but she speaks to me.¬† Hah!¬† Almost makes you want to hear ‘Bolero’ again, eh?

alpert1966.jpg

Doesn’t everybody love Herb?¬† This album cover has been parodied numerous times, I believe most famously by Soul Asylum. They had the best covers in the 60’s….

cl-eddiemack.jpg

Well, isn’t Eddie a lucky guy?¬† Who would think there would be naked, piano crawling beauties at the Open Face Sandwich Club?¬†

g1shit.jpg

Someone I know saw this recently and said at first glance, “That’s hot!!”.¬† Umm.. ok.¬† Apparently women on the toilet turn him on…¬† Hey, what ever floats yer boat, I say.¬† I think Millie¬†Jackson (is she related??) ¬†is just feeling wholly satisfied for being back where the shit is.¬† By the look on her face, she’s been waiting a long time.¬†

richardandwillie.jpg

Well, what can you say except, WHAT THE FUCK??¬† At least he gives a warning for sensitive eyes, but not before you’ve seen the rest.¬† Not that I’m offended. I’m just trying to work out what the hell is going on here… Is there a point?

I’m sure someone has an explanation.¬† If not feasible, at least amusing…

I’ll just leave you with those for now.¬† Vinyl albums that most likely will never be released on CD and if they were available digitally, what would be the point?

Vinyl rules, ok.

More to come…..

 

Song Of The Day – James Brown – King Heroin

It’s true what they say about gardening…

I used to really hate gardening. I could kill a plant at 20 paces, just by looking at it. I used to joke that I had a brown thumb. It all just seemed like an enormous chore to me.

Then, at the beginning of this year, I went through a strange and rather complicated metamorphosis*, which saw me turn into SUPER NAKED GARDENER.  I had a sudden urge to take my clothes off in the garden and plant things, often.  Fortunately, I got really lucky with the costume. Gardening is a dirty business and a cape would just get in the way.  

I’d heard people talk in whimsical and reverent tones about the wonders of working with the earth for most of my life, but my utter self absorption and short attention span never allowed me to truly discover the deep satisfaction that is to be had by sinking your hands into the dirt and nurturing a plant into bloom.

It’s true what they say. Gardening is a form of meditation. There is nothing else (with the possible exception of having an orgasm, oh and skinnydippng), that clears my mind in the same way, or takes me to such a simple place of pleasure and sheer enjoyment of life.

Ok, the pleasure principle is somewhat different between gardening and sex, but you get my drift, right?

I love planting. That’s my favourite part. I love mixing the different soils and mulch. I love digging my bare hands into the soil and letting the dirt fall through my fingers. I love popping the seedling out of the container to admire and gently free its delicate root structure. I love digging a little hole and placing the seedling, just so. I love giving them water and verbal encouragement daily. It matters not to me that they don’t have ears. They respond to my care.

Apricot RoseApricot Rose 2Azaleas

These flowers are blossoming in my garden right now. I can’t take credit for them, for the plants were here when I moved in — but if you click on them you’ll see they are very pretty, indeed.

100olymp_00007.jpg

I have discovered my true love is growing edible plants. Flowers are nice, but there is nothing like eating food you have grown with your own loving care. This is a photo I took of some baby carrots I planted on 1 April.

100olymp_00011.jpg

And this is how they look today, 12 days later. The rapid growth is almost like instant gratification, with a lesson on patience thrown in for good measure. I can’t wait to see what’s below the surface!

100olymp_00008.jpg

I adore rocket. I could just munch on rocket leaves all day. This is my rocket 12 days ago…

100olymp_00012.jpg

And here it is today. Growing like a rocket, no less! Yummm….! I’m having salad tonight….

100olymp_00004.jpg

I’m so excited to taste these cherry tomatoes, I can barely stand it…. but they’re taking so long to turn red! I mean…. HOW MUCH LONGER?? There are around 20-30 of them in that pot and I’m loving that specific, pungent¬†aroma of the tomato plant. It takes me back to my grandparent’s vegetable patch from childhood…

100olymp_00005.jpg

Jalapeno’s anyone? I love chillies, but I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this many of them. There are about 10 on that one plant right now and more popping up every day. I guess I can always freeze or dry them… Don’t you love that green?

100olymp_00009.jpg

This little fella makes me smile. Look at the way he’s climbing up the trellis all by himself. I thought I was going to have to tie him up, but it turns out he’s a very independent and capable¬†little snow pea plant! If you look closely you can see 3 snow peas of varying sizes…

I’m also growing a lot of other things, like various herbs, red onions, and a lemon tree in a pot amongst other things — but we’d be here forever if I showed you them all. These are my star performers.

So, it seems I may have a green thumb, after all.¬† Who knew?¬† I think I was always going to have to be in a still and quiet place of personal transformation for the growth of a plant to become something I appreciate deeply.¬† It’s quite symbolic.

I also love that when it’s warm, I can just turn around and dive in the pool to get clean.

It’s the simple things…

Now, I have a question for you:

100olymp_00010.jpg

I recently got hold of these rusty old buckets and I want to plant bulbs in them next week (jonquils, tulips and hyacinths). I’m really new at growing things and I don’t want to take any chances in terms of poisoning them, so I’m not keen on putting the soil directly in contact with the rust. Does anyone know of any product or method to coat the inside of the buckets to form a barrier between the metal and the soil? I’m thinking I might just have to line them with plastic….

I’d appreciate any ideas…

* My amazing metamorphosis may or may not be discussed at a later date. I’m a bit over talking about it for now.

Song Of The Day РDonovan РThere Is A Mountain

The Little Birdy That Could

One thing I seem to do on a fairly regular basis is rescue animals.¬† Maybe it’s my calling and I’ve been missing it all this time; who could know?¬† I¬†volunteer for a cat shelter, who send me out to pick up strays and abandoned kittens, and I quite often¬†rescue small mammals and birds from the jaws of death¬†on my own property.¬†¬† Although the resident poosycats,¬†Bilbo and¬†Spiffy, would prefer to be referred to as¬†‘Wildlife Control Officers’, don’t listen to them.¬† They’re renowned for putting a positive spin on every evil deed….

One night recently, I¬†witnessed Spiffy whizz by the loungeroom window, and in the brief streak of light I saw he had something in his mouth.¬† The constant¬†jingling of the bell on his collar was also a dead giveaway.¬† He likes to play ‘Toss’ with his prey.¬†¬† He thinks it’s fabulous fun.¬† Me?¬† Not so much…

I sprinted outside, grabbed Spiffy by the scruff of the neck, growled and shook him until he let go of what I thought was a mouse, but instead I found this little guy:

Little Birdy

Cute, huh?¬† Talkative, too.¬† In fact, so talkative that I had to put him outside in the garage for the night, because he wouldn’t shut the feck up.¬†

Next day, I took him here:

p1010007.jpg

Just up the road and luckily a vet that specialises in native wildlife…¬†

So, despite being mauled by what must have looked to him like a gigantic,¬†fanged monster from hell, it looked like he was going to live to tell the tale, although it was unlikely he would see his family again….

After that, I was feeling pretty good about my place in the world,¬† so I thought I’d take¬†a drive down the coast:

p10100101.jpg

… which was rather nice, but really,¬†driving and taking photographs at the same time is not something you should try at home, mmkay kids?

I did stop for the sunset:

p1010013.jpg

… which was quite lovely.¬†¬† By that time I was feeling extremely Zen and well connected to nature, so just before the sun went down, I stopped at the National Park up the road from my house in the hope of seeing some of these little fellas:

p1010020.jpg

Kangaroos make me very, very happy.¬† There are more of them than you can see, they’re just too far away¬†to pick up at dusk with a camera.¬†¬† I visit them quite regularly.¬† They’re my furry little friends.¬† Actually, they’re not that little; I know who would come off second best in a fight…

It was a good day…

I just hope I don’t have to see another potential kill in the forseeable future.¬† Because really, ¬†I’d rather not have to rescue anything…

Song of the day: Jarvis Cocker – (Cunts Are Still) Running The World